2016 - Finding Hope and Healing Admist the Mess

This past year has been an interesting one. It's been very messy emotionally, it's been a struggle to find balance for all the things I feel called to do, and it's been one of learning and growing in a new life as I've fallen in love with the most amazing man. 

The trials that came up this year were unexpected, but that's just how life goes. Heavenly Father likes to keep us on our toes so we can learn and grow. We are here to be changed, changed for the better. We are here to draw near to our Savior, and to learn of Him and have the empathy and compassion that He unfathomably has. 

This year I've had some incredible experiences, ones that weren't so incredible in the midst of me going through them. There was a time this year when all I wanted to do was disappear off of the earth. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and yet after it was over my heart had this new connection to the Savior, one I hadn't felt before in all the 20-something years of my life.

It was the greatest blessing to be able to launch thepowerofonegirl.com, everything came together perfectly with the website design and the video we made, and the inspiration for what this blog was to be... I felt so connected to God and everything I had been working towards for the past 10 years was finally coming together; THEN life took over once again. I felt writer's block, I felt what I was doing didn't really matter, I felt STUCK (which is something I can't even begin to explain, but if you've experienced it before, you simply GET IT), and on top of all of that I had anxiety that paralyzed me and I don't use those words lightly. I knew my life had turned into chaos and something had to be done. On top of all of this I was experiencing some digestive issues and some not so fun physical symptoms and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. 

I had been to my family practitioner over and over again and nothing was ever being found. I asked a friend if she had any references of where I could find some help as she gave me the name of an incredible lady. Someone that has helped me immensely this year to have a deeper love for myself and a pointed me towards the messages Heavenly Father has had for me all along. As I've been able to filter out some false beliefs I have had about myself and the nature of God, I have found so much hope and a new sense of wholeness I've never had before. I learned that I have leaky gut which has been one of the main culprits of all the emotional and physical struggles I've been experiencing. 

Upon learning I had leaky gut, I've been approaching eating an entirely new way this year. At first, it was hard. At first, Satan would try and stop me with incredible dark forces from being healed. There were moments this year where I lost all hope, all light, and had no faith or hope in healing or in a need to be healed. I know Satan knows me, He knows my mission, and He knows how to throw the dark forces that have the potential to keep me from fulfilling what I was born to do, which I know with my whole heart ties so deeply into health. I've been able to line upon line learn how to silence Satan's words so I can take power over my own life and eat the foods that are good for my body which means completely getting rid of the SAD (Standard American Diet, it really is SO sad) I've been so accustomed to and eating ONLY whole foods and whole ingredients. 

It's been hard, I go to parties and people either think I'm weird or anorexic. People will say things to me like "You're already so skinny, you don't need to be on a diet." and other people will say "Someone has to be THAT person." UGH. Why do people say things like this? You know what, I know. It's because they aren't comfortable with who they are yet. They are still learning who they are, what their mission is, and what it means to truly love themselves. I've been there, in fact, I'm still there. Learning to really love me. We make judgments about others when we aren't content with ourselves. These judgments come in many forms from jealousy to comparison, to the unkind words we speak directly to others, to even the silent words we may say through our looks, our attitudes, or even the gossip to those whom we most trust. 

On this journey of learning about my physical and mental health, I'm embracing change and a chance to heal; fully and completely. It's not going to be easy. I have brokeness and emotions buried in me that haven't been dealt with, we all have these buried emotions. But it's beautiful that Heavenly Father allows the trials we experience to have deeper meaning than meets the eye. His plan is perfect!

I've been studying so much about holistic health and the way our bodies have the ability to heal and were meant to heal. We have the obstacles we have in this life so that we can learn to OVERCOME! Christ overcame death and we are here to learn how to be like Him. I have found so much incredible peace and joy in studying about healing, wholeness, and the nutrition benefits in all the food God has blessed us with. This year I will be going through a course to be a holistic nutritionist. I'm so incredibly excited. I want to help bring hope and wholeness to others. If you've had any questions about holistic health, we should talk. It is only through Christ we can find complete and everlasting wholeness, but nutrition sure plays a role in our relationship with Him because our emotions have a way of getting in the way and blocking off the Spirit.

So while it's been a year of learning, and growing, it's also been a year of answers, of hope, and of finding Christ in the most beautiful way. Good things are coming and the best is yet to be!

Beautiful and Simple is the Way of the Lord

The way The Lord works is BEAUTIFUL! I don't know how He does it. I don't know how He turns every possible thing to our good. I don't know how He has the ability to love us in spite of the inadequacies we have on a daily basis. I just don't understand...and yet He does. 

God is good.
God is merciful.
God is so loving.
God is forgiving.
God is one of hope.

I often overthink and overcomplicate things. I don't know why...it sure makes my life HARD! And yet He makes incredible things come together. He testifies of truth when I finally settle my racing thoughts and He reminds me to look in the simple things, for His ways may be MIGHTY but they are simple. They are beautiful. Sometimes I struggle to just let go and to trust. (Funny story for another time, remind me.) But seriously, every time I forget or struggle to trust Heavenly Father, He is oh so very patient with me and then it works out so perfectly. Better than I could have ever hoped for or planned on my own. 

I'm so blessed to serve in the calling that I do. This week I have had three beautiful experiences that show me I am meant to be where I am at this moment...proving God is involved in all the details. Tonight I had the beautiful opportunity to sit down with my presidency and we had some great gospel focused real conversations. We were talking about the empathy we gain through the experience we go through. We discussed the perfect timing of God and the way He prepares us perfectly, we may not be perfect when we arrive but God's timing is one we can't understand but it surpasses anything we could have the ability to plan. We talked about the lessons we need to learn and we are all learning the same things, just on different roads to get to the same destination. 

These ladies are a huge blessing in my life, more than I give them credit for. This presidency is a team and not one of us runs the show above the other...we are all in this together and it's a beautiful journey. We help, we lift, we support, we encourage, and we celebrate with one another. 

I'm so blessed that God puts people in our lives at the times that He does. I'm so thankful that those that open their hearts to the Spirit can often say the things that are so needed at the times they are said. I'm incredibly impressed by the compassion of the Lord to give us second chances to learn lessons we have learned once before but possibly forget to apply.

I don't have too many answers right now, but what's beautiful is I have every single answer I need at this moment. Heavenly Father will guide me to more and more as the moment's press on. 

I know this post was random, just so many thoughts have been on my mind today and I wanted to testify of the beautiful spirit that's been with me today because I was willing to put my life in a greater balance He could be pleased with. Obey the Lord. Trust Him. Be accountable. Blessings will flood in your life, this I testify of. 

Overwhelmed in the Grace of Christ

The thirteen-year-old in me decided this was the picture that was going to pull me through the rough times in life. Life is beautiful in so many incredible ways, but sometimes it gets hard. I don't want to focus on the hard today, I want to focus on the grace; the grace of Christ. Lately, I have felt a little overwhelmed. 

Overwhelmed with time. 

Overwhelmed with planning.

Overwhelmed with mind games.

Overwhelmed with chasing perfection.

Overwhelmed with cooking and eating healthy.

Overwhelmed with a lack of balance.

Overwhelmed with inadequacies. 

In life, as seasons start to change and new chapters begin to unfold it can be hard. Even if they are the very seasons we have been pleading Heavenly Father for, they still take a time to adjust. I've been stretching myself so thin lately that my life has been missing a little balance...or maybe a lot. My Savior has given me everything and I mean EVERYTHING. I wouldn't be the girl I am today without him and his atonement. 

For some reason, I keep stressing and problem-solving as if I have to do every little thing on my own. Why would I take my problems on myself when I've not once been able to overcome them on my own? My Savior has always helped Him when I let Him. When I don't let him, I sure make a mess of things. And it's not like worrying solves my problems for me. It adds more stress, more chaos, and subtracts balance out of my life. 

I may be imperfect as I desire perfection. I may lack faith at times I need it the most. I may let inadequacies in myself get the best of me and at times stop me right in my tracks from even trying. I may not have every single thing in life figured out quite yet. But it doesn't matter because I know my Savior. I know He walks this path with me. I know as I turn to Him, the powers of Heaven are opened and prayers are answered. I know every single answer I need is found in the scars of His hands. He paid the price for me to have hope and every single day He will without a doubt bring me that hope if only I ask and then allow Him to do so.  

Why fear? I don't have to do this on my own. Christ is on my team!!

The scripture doesn't say I or Him - it says WE!!! How exciting is it to have Christ on your team and on mine? The only perfect person to ever walk on this earth. The only one with complete faith to always have the ability to draw down the powers of Heaven. The only one with perfect patience in spite of my countless imperfections. I have CHRIST ON MY TEAM! And so do YOU!! 

I've been pondering lately on how to access the atonement. We hear all the time that the enabling power of the atonement is for us to use, but how do we access it?

Here is what works for me:

1 - PRAYER! 

Pray morning & night every single day without fail! Tell Heavenly Father EVERYTHING...seriously, don't leave anything out! 

Sometimes if you need more divine help or to develop a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father it's going to take a TON more prayer. I have had days where it feels like I'm not doing anything but prayer. Praying in my car, while I'm exercising, praying with my scriptures open, praying through the tears. Embrace the moments that call you to your knees. These are the moments that build your faith, that shape you, that help take you from a piece of coal to a diamond.

2 - SCRIPTURE STUDY

You can't know Christ without studying the words of Christ and His stories. To access the atonement, you must invite the word of God into your heart and mind and allow it to be written on your heart. This is one of the basics which means EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

3 - OBEDIENCE

Striving for exact obedience and honesty in all things is what helps me to access the atonement and invites the Spirit into my heart. Even if you come up short a time or two, trying counts. 

4 - SERVICE

Accessing the atonement is really hard when your heart isn't focused on giving love. It's hard for love and forgiveness to warm your heart if you're not seeking opportunities to extend it to others.

5 - FAITH

"After all that Christ and you" do together, as a team, do you believe? Do you believe that the atonement and it's enabling power will be used in your life? FAITH is the answer to just about everything you hope and seek for in this life. Without faith, nothing matters. Faith drives us to action. It drives us to beliving in possiblities and things we never thought were possible. Believe, and if you don't believe just yet ask for help in your beliefs. 

I Survived Week 1 of Whole 30

Well, I survived Week 1 of the whole 30. Whole 30 is an eating whole program for 30 days being very cautious of every single label. I'm not doing this program to lose weight, I am doing this program to take charge of my health and power over my life. A symptom isn't just a symptom; a headache isn't there just because, every single symptom we experience is a signal trying to tell us that something is out of order. Since I have been facing a lot of bloating for over a year and acne for over two years on top of a few other things like emotional distress, eczema, low circulation, etc. - I decided I was  ready to take power over my health before these minor symptoms turned into bigger problems down the road. Prevention is KEY in health.

I feel SO STRONGLY that Heavenly Father wants us to take care of our bodies, he's given us very specific instructions on how to feed them and stay healthy (see word of wisdom) and he wants us to be healthy if we are willing to care for them. He desires healing, health, and happiness in our lives and I'm so grateful I've found resources that give me power to take action.

So here's what week 1 has looked like for me:

Day 1: I did not feel like eating healthy or doing this program. I was so tempted to give up before even starting. It was a long day and I just wasn't in the mood to jump in and take on this challenge. Thank goodness McKay was doing it with me, he sure kept me motivated and disciplined. That's how I know Satan cares so much when we choose to take power over our physical health and eat healthy; from May until now I have been studying health and nutrition like nobody's business. I've spent so much time learning about the benefits of the food Heavenly Father has blessed us with, and I was SO excited about it; but when it came down to me really taking action to do something about it, all my motivation was lost. Satan truly desires to stop me, and that is so motivating for me to push harder.

Day 2: Overall it was a pretty good day but I had such a headache. I went to a kickboxing class that night and I couldn't give it my all because I didn't have all the energy I needed.

Day 3: I made McKay and I lunch and then we were about to head out to the store and I suddenly got so dizzy which turned into nausea. It lasted the rest of the day. I was weak and I couldn't really move. I hate feeling icky but I got excited when I googled to see if this was normal and boy was it ever. These icky feelings were coming from the bad toxins rising up and wanting to be released. My body had been storing these ugly guys for who knows how long. It was exciting to me that the pain meant I was healing.

Day 4: I felt so much better this day. I had a lot more energy and overall I seemed happy. My emotions did feel a little off, like I couldn't experience emotion as much as I wanted to but it wasn't too big of a deal.

Day 5: I started to feel a little bit nauseous again but nothing quite like day 3. By the end of the day I was just exhausted, all I wanted in life was to sleep, sleep, sleep.

Day 6: Emotionally I felt fine. I couldn't take normal medication for some pain I was experiencing which sure made things worse, but overall the day wasn't horrible.

Day 7: I was so happy, it was like I could think clearly while experiencing so much happiness. We made Sheperd's pie, it was good but I've been in the kitchen more this week than I have been in my life, I'm kind of over cooking right now haha.

I'm so grateful I've made it through seven days! Bring on the next week. 

A Balanced Life is a Powerful Life

You were BORN to take power over your life. You are a Daughter of God and in that you hold His Character or at least the potential to resemble His character as you progress in this mortal journey.

Moses 2:26-28 "And I, God, said unto mine Only Begotten, which was with me from the beginning: Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness; and it was so. And I, God, said: Let them have dominion over the fishes of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."

"And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine Only Begotten created I him; male and female created I them."

"And I, God, blessed them, and said unto them: Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

Heavenly Father gave dominion over "all the earth." You are a Child of God, and with that you are part of "all the earth." You have dominion over every living thing, that means YOU! You have the ability and control to TAKE POWER OVER YOUR OWN LIFE!! You were born to improve, to learn, to grow, and to become like Him.

Parley P. Pratt has said:
"An intelligent being, in the image of God, possess every organ, attribute, sense, sympathy, affection, that is possessed by God himself. But these are possessed by man, in his rudimental state,... these attributes are in embryo; and are to be gradually developed. They resemble a bud, a germ, which gradually develops into bloom, and then, by progress, produces the mature fruit, after its own kind."

You were born to be AMAZING! You are a CHILD OF GOD and because of that YOU ARE AMAZING!!

Here are some tips to help you create more balance giving you a greater sense of power over your own life: 

1. Clean your room and your car AND KEEP IT CLEAN!!
Whenever your space is in a state of chaos, you will find your life and your spirit will be too. Make it a goal to always make your space cleaner than it is. This means spending a few minutes putting away your make-up in the morning, or making your bed, or picking up clothes off the floor. It means using extra minutes when you have them to put away papers, sort socks, hang up clothes.

Never leave food, water bottles, or any papers in your car unless they serve a purpose. If you brought it to your car, take it out of your car with you. This will help your mind to be clear, you to feel confident at ease, and for you to never run into a panic of "Where did that go?" or "I don't have time for this mess."

2. Prayer, Journal, Scriptures 
I feel these all go hand in hand. Don't try and separate them! In Young Women's we used to call them putting on your PJ'S, you know kind of like putting on the Armor of God. Your spirit needs each one of these daily and you find out that life is so much better and more beautiful when you giving your heart to God through each one of these spiritual building blocks.

3. Well Groomed
You always feel better when you've showered, done your hair, shaved, and your just clean, right? Showering always makes me feel simply renewed and in power of my life. You will feel so much better when you put effort into getting ready. Don't do it for the world, do it for YOU! You decide what well grooming means for you and then always take the time needed to make it happen.

4. Eat Healthy 
Your body needs nutrients to function well. It needs many vitamins and minerals to help you function strong mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Yes they all go hand in hand and yes a huge part of your life comes down to the foods you are eating and the vitamins you are getting. If you aren't eating every color of the rainbow daily, then you are missing out on many functional vitamins your body is craving and in need of so you can thrive. 

5. Get LOTS of sleep 
Your body needs SO much sleep and it's so easy to not get it when you're going going going. But take a minute to rest. Every week, go to bed early at least one night if not two so you can be sure you are catching you're quality Z's. For optimal mental function and a healthy body you need about 8 hours a night. Don't skimp.

6. Serve Others 
It's so easy to get focused on a way street, trying to constantly solve your own problems and never leaving enough time to save the worlds as well. While it isn't your obligation to fix all the chaos that is happening in our own backyard, you sure have the ability to do something. We were born with talents and skills and we keep on improving these gifts because God created us to DO SOMETHING! The more you focus on the lives of others and start bringing joy to those who may be struggling with loss of hope, the more you will find joy and self-esteem entering your own life. Just like it says in Alma 41:15 "For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again." Give more to find more balance. 

Joy Always Comes After Opposition

I'm so very grateful there is opposition in all things. Happiness is on my mind a lot, I would dare to assume it's on everyone's mind a lot. We all desire happiness, in fact Joseph Smith taught "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof..."

Elder Faust taught, "Happiness is not given to us in a package that we can just open up and consume. Nobody is ever happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Rather than thinking in terms of a day, we perhaps need to snatch happiness in little pieces, learning to recognize the elements of happiness and then treasuring them while they last."

I just love how he puts it, we have to treasure it while it lasts. I know in my life the times I am my absolute happiest is after coming out of a big storm or trial that life seems to pour over me, because then my mind is familiar with the pain and opposition found in life and it's so much easier to appreciate the smallest and simplest things in the day to day life. 

We were designed to have joy, it says so in 2 Nephi 2:25 "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." I just love that! Of course we have to have opposition, of course life has to be hard at times, of course we have to know sadness to know happiness. Without it we would never grow and we would never appreciate the beauty this world is SO full of! 

This actually leads to the truth that trials are often our greatest blessings. The opposition and adversity in life teaches us more than any other experience can, in addition to leading us to a humility we may know no other way as we are able to find gratitude and happiness in the beautiful journey we call life once we know life without those things we so deeply treasure. Those who know extreme sadness, loss, hurt, betrayal, loneliness, and pain have the opportunity to know the greatest happiness. While in these moments of pain and agony it can be one of the hardest things to face and you have no idea how you will ever come out of it and know happiness again, the sun always rises and some sunrises are prettier than others. 

There is a simple but beautiful scripture found in Psalms 118:24 "This is the day which the Lord hath made, rejoice and be glad in it."

Talk about POWERFUL! What a beautiful blessing it is to be alive, to have this day, to experience this journey that Heavenly Father gave us because He had our best interest at heart. The Lord gave us this day and every single day before this one and after this one. He knew adversity and trials would come our way, but he is still asking us to REJOICE! Isn't that so beautiful???!!! Seriously though, I would scream this on top of a mountain if I was on one right now! He has made it possible for us to find joy in the journey every single day of our lives if we would but just try. 

Rejoice means to be thankful and happy, the word rejoice is found in Alma 26 seven times, and the word joy is found in this chapter seven times as well. I know we wouldn't be asked to rejoice if it was something impossible for us to do. I've found it's harder to practice gratitude when I get out of habit with gratitude. I have a small "tender mercy" journal I write in every night before bed of the three ways I saw the Lord blessing me or allowing me to experience happiness in my life that day. This has really helped me to see that Heavenly Father sends me happiness every single day, even if it is a really hard day and I'm facing a huge trial, there is always something to write.

"Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord?" (Alma 26:16) - I just love this!! Happiness comes from God! God WANTS us to be happy and happiness is possible through Him and our loving Savior Jesus Christ. We have the opportunity to be thankful whether or not we are loving every single thing about our life. We have the opportunity to glory (aka honor and praise) the Lord every single day because He gave us this great gift to just be here!

Opposition has a way of making us appreciate the small things in life and shows us they are the ones that matter. I know in my life after experiencing extreme bouts of anxiety and depression, moments where I was mentally and physically paralyzed by fear and emotions feeling as if chains had tied me up and I was in a dark room with no hope to ever been seen again, it did get better. Oh did it ever get better and it sure made me appreciate the ability to see the sun, to feel the wind on my hand, to have a moment of motivation of a dream placed in my heart once again. It made me appreciate deeper the hand holding, the hugging, the cooking and chores, the moments where I could be with friends, and the moments where their wasn't tears streaming down my face.

You deserve to be happy! God wants you to be happy! I promise you that, because even President Uchtdorf has said  "God didn't design us to be sad. He created us to have joy." You are in control of your happiness, even when there will be sadness along the way...it's about rejoicing and being thankful even through the toughest moments. 

Yes, let yourself feel! Let yourself be okay that every single moment won't be perfect! Let yourself learn patience through the trial, let yourself cry it out and get out the emotions, but then get up and rejoice! Rejoice to the Lord in all the days of your life and you will be so familiar with happiness when the Savior comes again. 

I'll leave you with a beautiful quote from President Monson:

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now." President Thomas S. Monson, Nov. 2008

Looking for more ways to be happy? Go here! 

It's Part Of Our Divine Nature To Desire Beauty

I've been thinking a lot about beauty and appearance lately. I guess you could say I've gone through some phases in life regarding thoughts and beliefs on beauty and whether or not it's okay to desire to be beautiful. At one point I thought it was wrong to desire beauty because we need to focus more on our spiritual development. I felt guilty for my desires to be beautiful and the time I spent getting ready and looking nice because I had a false belief that all that really matters is what's found within. What I didn't realize then that I do now is our spiritual and physical beings are completely inseparable. The Spirit can't shine out of a careless body. 

Beauty is much more than having flawless features, it's about taking power over our physical appearance through self-discipline. It's about eating healthy, taking care of our skin, enhancing our features, caring for our hair, exercising, and keeping a clean home that sends a message out into the world that we know we have power over our lives and the gifts (aka our body) Heavenly Father has blessed us with does matter. Desiring beauty shows that you care; care about yourself, about Heavenly Father's creations, about life, and about aspiring to become great. Looking our best at all times allows us to make greater connections and influences more people because showing you care develops trust, and you touch and influence lives when people feel as if they can trust you. 

President McKay is reported to have said, when asked by the Brethren if Mormon women should wear make-up, "well, even an old barn looks better when it's painted!"

By our divine nature as children of a loving Heavenly Father, we were made to strive to be beautiful, strong, confident, and poised daughters of God. Heavenly Father is perfect and our goal is to strive to be like Him, I can only imagine how beautiful and well poised our Heavenly Mother is. I can only imagine the self-discipline she has and the time she took to work on her beauty and grace.

Every single daughter of God holds within her a gift, a gift that is an Eternal burning and longing to be feminine, to be lovely, to be honored and cherished. It is part of our divine nature to rise to the election of Goddess. Every daughter of God would be more productive, motivated, and more enthusiastic towards life if they felt peace with their physical appearance and with their surroundings. 

It will take self-discipline, but we are here to learn how to take power over our physical bodies. It takes dedication and self-discipline to wash your face before going to bed, to brush your teeth, to put on make-up, to take the time to style your hair, to eat healthy and say no to treats when it matters, to getting enough sleep every night, and to work out. If you've already developed these habits, then you know it's something you don't even have to think about or make a decision about, you just do it because it's now ingrained in you. 

If you haven't already made it a habit for each of the following above, then start today! Self control and discipline comes with practice, and with increased practice comes mastery. Every time you do this, you will gain a little bit more self-respect (self-esteem) and it will motivate you to do it again and again creating a habit. Start now! Self-esteem shines when you feel good on both the inside and out. 

It starts with Christ, and Christ wants to help you feel beautiful, master self-discipline and follow the commandment found in D&C 88:119-120, 124:

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord; that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord;that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most high...

Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, taht your bodies and your minds may be invigorated."