This morning I came across this post I wrote two years ago, which then led me to become overwhelmed with God's love for me personally. I competed in 9 different pageants and didn't win one. No not one. I used to hate telling people this. I saw myself as a failure and was so afraid others would see me that way too. I remember the pain of rejection so vividly. While I can remember these negative thoughts and feelings like it was yesterday, I can honestly say in this very moment, the pain is GONE! My heart is 100% healed. I am able to see courage and so much great strength in myself. Today God opened my eyes to how He has seen me the entire time, whether dreams were coming true or not.
If I could tell girls anything, I would look every single girl directly in the eye and help them understand that they are loved, SO loved. So much potential lies within every single one of God's daughters. You have a divine mission and purpose! I never, ever want a girl to go a second without this knowledge.
At the end of that post, I wrote:
"It hurts so deeply as I have been dreaming about this goal for the last 9 years and I put everything I had into this organization. For now I will trust my Heavenly Father with all my heart. I need to let go and let God step in and take me to where I need to be. My courage, self-esteem and faith is one blessing that has been given to me through pageants and I would not trade my participation in pageants for the world. I am so grateful I have been able to compete and I have been able to make a difference in so many capacities. I will keep dreaming, believing and searching."
God has taken me to incredible and amazing places, since that day. I'm so grateful for challenges in life that break my heart because that's what leads me closest to God. I would do anything and everything for him!!!
I realize that this was something simple, worldly and even silly to be heartbroken over, but you know what? It mattered to me SO MUCH at that moment. And because it mattered to me, it mattered to God. Whatever is breaking your heart today, just hang on! Heavenly Father loves you so much, I am confident He is catching your every tear. The pain won't last forever and it will get better! Let your heartbreak carry you to come closer to Jesus Christ so He can help you see what Heaven sees in you. Heavenly Father has so many great plans for you. Don't lose your faith that you are His daughter and all He wants is for you to be happy.
We often go through experiences to shape us into the individual God had pictured all along. He loves you. He has so many great plans for you. Strength is having the courage to trust His plan for you. It doesn't matter if your dreams come true or something that is so dear to your heart was never meant to be yours forever. Because when you trust Him, it works out and you become the girl that conquered heartache through trust. If you feel heartbreak in your life, just know this isn't how your story ends. You are going to triumph in the end. You have so much goodness and divine qualities inside of you. When you hang onto to the light of Christ and truly come to know Him, that light will shine through.
Life is meant to make us bend and twist, but you will never break!
No matter what your going through, believe. Believe with all your heart that Christ has the ability to heal you. And no matter how many times you think you are failing, it's the opposite. You're actually growing and changing in ways you might not be able to see just yet. Chase your dreams without hesitation, they are placed in your heart for a great purpose. That purpose may come right away and it may take great faith and patience for you to see it. But no matter what, at the end of this book, you will end up happy! You end up living Happily Ever After when your heart is always turned to Christ. His light is always in there, even when you can't see it.
I'm so grateful for the journey I have traveled. What I thought was failure, was really strength. Just because you try at something and don't succeed in the way you hoped, doesn't mean God doesn't love you or you are a failure. It's so much the opposite!
You were born to become a queen. When you don't reach the goal you were hoping for, it just means your story isn't over, not yet! Hang on & believe.
