Dear Ashley Marie

Dear Ashley Marie,
How often should I be cleaning my makeup brushes and how do I clean them?
Sincerely,
Reese



Dear Reese,
You should be washing your brushes at least 3 times a week. This will help them to last longer, keep stay true color application and will also keep germs at bay. If you have a foundation brush, you can just use a gentle soap and warm water to wash this brush. Let it dry laying flat. Do not use it till it is completely dry. 

As for all your other brushes such as eye shadow, cheek, etc. there is a perfect product for that. 


It is the Mary Kay Brush Cleaner! And the great news is it is ONLY $10!

 Shop HERE

To Use: You simply lay the brush down on a paper towel and you spray the brush cleaner about 10 inches away from the brush while rotating the brush to get every angle. Then wipe it on the paper towel and you will see all the powder coming off. Then leave your brush to dry. It will probably take about 20 min. before it is completely dry.

Hope this helps! :)

Love, 
Ashley Marie

Dear Ashley Marie,
I really want to go to college but I am not sure if I can afford it. I know there are scholarships out there but I feel like none of them apply to me or they are too far out of reach. Any advice for me?
Sincerly,
University Chic


Dear University Chic,
Good for you for having a desire to go to college! It will be so worth it in the end! First things first - apply for a pell grant! To do this, simply go to http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/ This is the official Federal Student Aid website. Another great website to check out for all different types of scholarships is www.fastweb.com! - Stay tuned as I will do an entire post on scholarships soon! Good luck!

Love, 
Ashley Marie


Dear Ashley Marie,
Any time I drive with my best friend, she is always texting and driving. It scares me. I'm sure she knows it isn't safe but she does it anyways. What can I do to get her to stop?
Sincerly,
Girl scared for her life


Dear Girl scared for her life,
I am so proud of you for realizing how scary this is and having a desire to convince her to stop. Probably the first thing you should do is let her know how you feel. Next time you see her do this, kindly ask her to not text and drive and tell her how scary it is. You could even volunteer to send a text out for her. This may be a bit awkward for you, but this awkward moment may save both of your lives, that's worth it, right?

Here are some statistics about texting and driving: 

- Those who send text messages while driving are 23 times more likely to be in a crash.

- When drivers read or send a text message, their reaction time is doubled. When asked to respond to a flashing light while texting behind the wheel, drivers were more than 11 times more likely to miss the light altogether.

Scary stuff, huh?

If texting while driving is a temptation for her often, her are some suggestions to get her to fight the urge. Have her keep her phone in the trunk or at least on silent. Also keep photos of loved ones in your car (such as on the dash board) so you remember who want to home get home safely too!
(More info about this topic coming...)


Love, 
Ashley Marie

Dear Ashley Marie - Girl Advice Column

Dear Ashley Marie,
What is the difference between the skin care brands in the mall and the ones you see at the grocery store? I am in High School, what do you think is best for my skin?
Sincerely,
Girl seeking for healthy skin



Dear girl seeking for healthy skin,
I am so excited that you have a desire to take care of your skin at your young age. Now is the time to take care of your skin for now and in the future. The skin care brands at the mall are called premium brands and they are premium because they don't use fillers which means you get way more for your skin and you aren't using harmful chemicals on it. Because the premium brands don't use fillers they last a whole lot longer and end up being better for your skin. Premium skin care is probably best for your skin, the good news is you don't have to spend tons of money to get good skin care though. Mary Kay is also a premium brand just like Clinique and bare minerals but it is actually a little cheaper.
The right one for your age would be the Botanical Effects skin care line. It comes with a mask (which can be used as a face scrub), a cleanser, a freshener (it clarifies your skin) and a moisturizer all for $58 and this will probably last you a good 3 or 4 months. 
Love, 
Ashley Marie

                         Shop HERE

Dear Ashley Marie,
I really want to try out for the cheer leading team but I don't think I would make it. I'm not popular, I'm guessing none of the cheer leaders even know I exist. I don't think I am pretty enough to be a cheer leader either. I see those cheer leaders though and they inspire me so much. There are a few girls on the squad that are so nice and they are my role models, I really want to get to know them better and influence the student body like they do. 
Sincerely,
Liz

Dear Liz,
You can do anything if you work hard enough and believe in yourself. Really evaluate why you want to be on the cheer squad though. If it is to be popular and be like those girls, that's the wrong reason to be chasing this dream but if cheering is something you have a strong passion for and you are willing to put in all that hard work, dedication and many many hours of practices then try out! It will hurt more down the road to wonder "What if?" than it will to take the chance and possibly be rejected. If this is your dream, put EVERYTHING you have into it. Find a friend, a parent, a coach or a mentor that can help coach you and help you prepare for try outs.Dreams come true with hard work and belief in yourself. You will do amazing! I have so much belief in you!
Love,
Ashley Marie

Dear Ashley Marie

{I have been slacking on this the past two weeks but it is back!}

I am so excited because many of these questions will be coming from my Jr. High and High School girls from Girl Talk, but more about that later! :)

Dear Ashley Marie,
My sister and I never seem to get along. We fight all the time about the stupidest little things. I hate it. I wish I knew what to do because it is making me really sad and dreading going home everyday. Do you have any advice of what I can do to help our relationship, we used to be such good friends.
Sincerely,
The girl striving for peace

Dear girl striving for peace,
Sibling relationships can be hard can't they? I'm so sorry that you and your sister are at the age where there is so much contention but hopefully you can feel a little comfort in the fact that this is so normal. I remember being in High School and my sister would still EVERYTHING of mine. She would take my clothes, my makeup, my pens, my hidden candy, everything. As hard as this was for me, I learned to be patient. I know that probably isn't the answer you are looking for but patience really is a virtue. Be patient with kindness and love to her. Try and serve her every opportunity you get. This is going to be SO HARD, it is going to take so much humility from you but I promise it will be so worth it in the end. Also maybe start writing her notes about how you feel and how you would like to get along, this may be an eye opener for her.
I wish you the very best of luck in your journey to love your sister.
Love, Ashley Marie

Dear Ashley Marie,
I get the worst chapped lips in the winter. They peel and crack like crazy. It hurts and it is not pretty. Do you have any tricks or know of anything that will solve this problem.
Sincerely,
Kate

Dear Kate,
The winter is pretty brutal on our skin and lips. I have tried many many products for this such as Vaseline  Burt's bees, lip repair, etc. While I have found a little bit of comfort and relief from these products my most favorite product for this problem is definitely Satin Lips. 

Satin Lips is from Mary Kay. Now I am not just recommending this product because I am a beauty consultant for Mary Kay, I truly have such a strong love for this product and this is why.

It comes as a set - - 
Step 1: which is the lip mask that exfoliates your lips..

Effectively exfoliates 

dead surface skin cells 

that cause lips to appear dull 

and lifeless!

Step 2: which is the lip balm. This lip balm is so light but heals your lips within 5 minutes no matter how dry and chapped they are.

Clinical results show that a single 

application of Satin Lips Lip Balm 

moisturizes the lips for at least

6 hours.

I use the lip mask twice a week (You can use it every day if you would like). 
Then I use the lip balm like 3 times a day. It is incredible! 
The best part is putting it on right before bed and waking up to smooth, soft, luxurious lips.

Buy the set here!


Dear Ashley Marie,
I want to be a runner but I can barely run a block without getting side cramps and having to rest. Why is that and any suggestions to help me prepare for a 5K?
Sincerely, 
Liz

Liz, 
Good for you for having the desire to get in shape and go running. Running is such a stress buster. It is a great health, body and mind. Start running every day, make it a habit and stay dedicated! Run as far as you can then push yourself a tiny bit farther still running. Then take a rest by walking. Walk as long as you need until your side cramps subside then start running again. You will want to do this at least 5 times a day. If you stay consistent with it, you will start to notice that you can run a farther distance each and every time.

What you are eating also plays a huge role in your energy level and whether you will get side cramps or not. You will want to eat lots of protein on a daily basis, ideally 1 gram for every pound you currently weigh, if you want to gain weight - - eat 1 gram for every pound you WANT to weigh. Also a very light but nutritious snack will help before you go running. Eat something like a banana or an apple or a protein bar 30 min. to an hour before you go running. And don't forget water, drink TONS during, before and after your run!

Since you are planning for a 5K, you will want to start this routine at least 3 months before the big day! Good luck and I hope to be there cheering you on! :)
Sincerely,
Ashley Marie

Popularity - 6 steps to being popular

POPULARITY -

Liked, admired, or enjoyed by many people or by a particular person or group. 

If you have a desire to be popular and it is with good intentions to create a positive change in this world and be someone of influence, then here are the secrets:

1. Be nice to everyone 

Kindness goes REALLY far. 

Everyone wants to be around people that make them feel important. 

Be Friendly - say hi to everyone. 

Focus on others instead of yourself!

Give sincere compliments - 

especially ones that are about inside beauty.

Talk about others to your friends and everyone you see - 

BUT ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS ABOUT THEM!

(Example: "That Maddi girl, she is SO fun to be around and she is really smart too, 

I think we should have a homework study group with her sometime.")

2. No Gossiping

 People trust you more when you don't gossip.

When I hear someone gossip to me about someone else,

I don't like to hang around them for two reasons.

1) Gossip drains me. It takes so much energy and happiness out of me 

because it is all so negative.

2) It scares me to be their friend because if they have all this negative 

stuff to say about others, I just wonder what they say behind my

back when I am not around.

3. Be YOU!! 

Imagine if everyone that was popular at your school was exactly the same. 

That just wouldn't happen would it?

There would be no point to the popularity thing.

Stay true to the activities that YOU enjoy. 

Wear colors YOU like to wear!

Style the hair the way YOU think is pretty.

Journal often to get to know yourself better and 

to help you stay true to your beliefs.

4. Don't loose yourself by trying to fit in.

It doesn't matter what others think of you because not

everyone is going to approve of you all the time.

There is opposition in all things NO MATTER WHAT!

So choose your standards and STICK BY THEM.

You will become popular by being a role model of good values.

You gain respect and what can be better than that?

Be careful who you take under your wing as a service project,

you can often loose sight of your goal and forget the real you!

5. Care about your school work

You are more confident when you are getting good grades

 and doing well in school work.

People want to be around others who are successful because 

that success is often rubbed off from one to another

(hence the term rubbing elbows)

Your peers are going to take you more seriously when they 

see how much you love to excel in class.

6. Be optimistic

People are more easily drawn to others that have a happy optimistic attitude.

When you see good in everything, 

you can help lift others up and people start becoming magnetized to you.

Your outlook on life affects your mood and your future.

Think about it, you never get tired of someone who can 

help you see the good in a bad situation!

Secretly I always wanted to be popular. 

I don't know why, maybe it was a stamp of approval from the student body.

I wanted people to know my name.

I wanted to be well known.

I would constantly stalk my high school year books and I would

look at the girls who were one to two years older than me.

I would pick out the girls who were popular, they looked liked they were living 

a pretty good life, so I decided I wanted to be them.

I would look at what clubs they were in or what after school activities they were 

apart of and then I would do exactly what they did the following year.

I thought this was the secret to popularity, to follow in someone else's footsteps.

Boy was I wrong. Surprisingly enough it didn't work out the way I had hoped.

I joined Bell Choir because Sky Hansen was in bell choir when she was a senior.

I tried out for M.A.G. (Murray Association of Girls) because that is

where all the popular girls were from.

I had a plan to join seminary council because Mandi was popular 

and that's what she did. 

I did all these things because that is what I thought it took to 

become popular.

Well it didn't work the way I thought but the good thing

that came out from this experiment was I got to know myself better.

I got to know what I like and  what I don't like.

I was trying so hard to fit into someone else's mold,

which I CAN'T do.

Heavenly Father did not create me to be someone else's

shadow, he wants me to ME AND JUST ME!

I wanted to be popular for all the wrong reasons. 
It took till after High School to learn this lesson.

If you want to be popular, then have a desire to be popular for the right reasons.
Have a desire to use your popularity for good.
Use your popularity to make others feel loved and accepted.
Popularity can be used to build others confidence, which is what so many of
the girls at my high school did to me.
Don't let clothes, and brand names, and cliques and makeup and music and entertainment
and all of those earthly things that seriously don't matter, get in the way of what really matters.

Self Esteem Advice Column

It is time for Ashley Marie's Self Esteem Advice Column again

AKA "Ask Ashley Marie"

I will be answering 3 questions from our readers today.

Dear Ashley Marie,

My hair is so fine and flat, I feel like it is plain Jane. I am 

constantly looking at all the other girls at school and wish 

my hair was as pretty as theirs. What can I do to feel 

confident about my own locks and do to add volume to it?

Sincerely, 

Always Plain Jane

First things first, I am sure your hair is beautiful. Let's start with a little exercise  Go look in the mirror and write down 3 things that you like about your hair. Is it easy to manage? Do you like the color? Do you like the length? Do you like the way it flows as you walk? Write down 3 things you like about it in your journal. Now to add volume to your hair there are many different products out there. When looking for a shampoo find one that says "volume" on the front. This will start to add some life to your hair and you will notice a difference. Now you have to be careful because volume shampoo can be very drying to your pretty locks so you may want to try a moisturizing conditioner. (you can even add a little olive oil to it) This will ensure your hair doesn't get dry and frizzy, especially since it is winter. Another great thing to try is to put your hair up in a high bun when you sleep. When you wake up it should have some pretty waves and kinks in it. This will make it easier to curl your hair in the morning or it will add volume as you straighten it.



Dear Ashley Marie,

I want to eat healthy and take care of my body but I am so 

busy since I am in the school play and we have practices 

after school. I feel like I never have time to exercise and it 

is too hard to eat healthy since I only get a chance to snack

at odd times during the day. Help!

Love, Sarah P.

Sarah,

Props to you for having the desire to take care of your body. Your body does so much for you and it the least you could do to take care of it. There are lots of simple ways you can take care of your body while being on the go all the time. First make sure you have a water bottle with you always. Water is so vital and making sure you get enough is extremely important. Replace soda and all those sugary drinks for water. Second start packing healthy snacks. Fruits and some vegetables are super easy to take on the go. You can eat a banana anywhere! Other healthy food snacks would include protein bars, raisins, nuts, plain popcorn, string cheese, etc. As for the working out part be sure to take the stairs everywhere you go. You can also do some yoga or simple exercises in your bedroom before you even head out for school. Best of luck!

Dear Ashley Marie,

I always feel left out. No matter what I do I always feel like

the 3rd wheel when I am with my two best friends. They

always leave me out of conversations and everything else 

they do. I hate it. How can I fit in better with them?

Sincerely, The outcasted girl

Believe it or not this is a common one. This actually happened to me TONS all the way from Elementary School through High School. I was shy and didn't make a whole lot of effort to go out side my bubble, I have learned a lot since then. It may be best to first hang out with each of them one on one, then you can feel connected with both of them on a level you probably haven't felt for awhile. While you have some alone time with them, bring up the fact that you feel left out and wish there was a way you could all feel included. I am sure they will be very understanding and now that they both know they will each do different things to include you more if they are real true friends. One of the most important things you have to remember about friendship though is you have to be a friend to have one. This doesn't just mean being nice and caring although these are important factors. It also means reaching out to them. Even though it seems a lot easier to have others come to you first, sometimes you HAVE to go out of your way and seek others first. This is hard, trust me but if you don't reach out you can't expect others to do all the hard work...meet them half way! 

I also have one more idea so you don't feel like the third wheel! I am sure there are several girls that go to your school that often feel alone or feel like they don't have any friends. Seek those girls out and make a friend, then you can bring that girl into your group. I am sure your friends will be very accepting of her and you can hang out as a group sometimes and sometimes you can do things with this the two of you. This way you are helping others just like you while helping yourself... it is a win-win!

Remember if you have questions and want

 

it answered you may just see it on next 

weeks post. 

Email me at 

AshleyFrederickson@marykay.com

Self esteem advice column

Remember this post? 

Well it's Wednesday so it's time for the first "Ask Ashley Marie".

I have 3 questions from readers today.

Dear Ashley Marie,

Sometimes I feel like I am not talented in away which then makes me feel inadequate around others. What can I do?

Love, The inadequate girl

Great question! First of we all we ALL have some sort of talent or something we are good at, I promise. But I totally understand where you are coming from, I have felt this way before many times growing up. Get out a piece of paper and number it to 10. Then write down 10 things that you are good at or that you like to do. It can be as simple as 'coloring Disney pictures' or 'being a good friend'. Once you have completed the list HANG IT - hang it somewhere where you will see it each and every day. Your mirror would be a perfect spot for this. Now read it every single morning before you walk out the door. These things that you listed are your talents...it's what makes you special and unique! Embrace it!!! I bet the girl who dancing skills you envy doesn't have all the talents you posses on your list. Hold your head high and focus on what you CAN DO and NOT on what you can't do!

Dear Ashley Marie,

What is a good product to get rid of my acne?

Love, Pimple face

Pimples are so annoying, aren't they? A couple things will help to eliminate this. First you need to establish a good skin care regimen. This means washing and moisturizing your face both morning and night. The reason you wash your face at night is because you are taking off all your makeup you wore that day as well as taking off all that dirty bacteria and grime your face has been collecting throughout the day. Sleeping with makeup on blocks your pores which therefore causes acne.You wash your face in the morning to give your skin a fresh new start throughout the day as well as washing off any drool or icky stuff that may have ended up on face from sleeping.

I can think of 4 perfect products for you that will help you to establish an excellent skin care regimen and help fight your acne.

**With these products you will want to make sure you are getting the right product for your skin type!

1 - Botanical Effects Cleanse -  Leaves skin feeling clean and balanced. 

It helps defend against environmental damage and helps promote healthy skin.

 2- Botaincal Effects Freshen - Freshens the skin leaving it clean from

any impurities that were not removed from the cleanse. 

Helps create balanced skin and pores and leaves your skin feeling fresh and pure.

3 - Botanical Effects Hydrate - It helps defend against environmental 

damage and helps promote healthy skin.

It gives your skin the moisture that it needs to keep skin in balance and

prevent pores from being clogged.

4 - Acne Gel - Contains 5% Benzoyl Peroxide to give your skin the treatment it needs.

It penetrates pores and eliminates most blackheads, pimples and blemishes while 

preventing new ones from forming. It is dermatologist tested.

Dear Ashley Marie,

I am so shy so it is really hard for me to make friends at my high school. I want to fit in so bad but I don't know what I would say. Is there  a way to overcome my shyness?

Love, The bashful one

Shyness is definitely something that can be overcome, it just takes practice. I want you to try an experiment. Think of someone in one of your classes that you would love to be friends with but you have been to shy to actually talk with them. Got someone in mind? Great! Now I want you to write on a piece of paper why you want to be friends with her. Do you have something in common with her? Do you like her style? Is she friendly? Does she like the same sports as you? A list of 3 reasons should do. Now what you just did was you found common ground. Usually the main reason people are shy is because they don't know what to talk about or they feel afraid of what others will think. I want you to write out the conversation you are going to have with this potential friend on a piece of paper. 

It may look something like this: "Those are such cute boots, I have been wanting some like that for awhile, where did you find them?" "Oh that is my favorite store, if I could afford it, I would shop there all the time." "You know I have admired your style for awhile now, it would be so fun if we could go to the mall sometime together and maybe you could teach me a few shopping tricks?"

It's simple and its the perfect way to make some new friends. Always be thinking of things to say and talk about with others and this will help you tons!!

Remember if you have questions about anything related to 

Self Esteem, Beauty, Health, Boys, Friends, Life Choices, Feelings and 

any other topic that relates to girls

you can email them to AshleyFrederickson@marykay.com 

and maybe next week your question will be featured on this blog! 

You can remain anonymous or you can share your name - - it doesn't matter!

10 life skills pageants teach you

Miss America will be on TOMORROW on abc.

(check your local listings to find out the time)

In honor of Miss America week I wanted to try and break some stereotypes

 about pageants and tell you

10 life skills that pageants can teach you.

Competing for Miss Murray may have been one of the greatest things I have done in my life from all the skills I was taught and the lessons I learned that have prepared me to live in this world. 

As Miss Murray 2006, Lindsey Smith says

"It is not the outcome of the pageant that changes you, it is the involvement and preparation."

It shaped me into my best self!

1. Confidence

There is nothing that builds more confidence than walking on stage in a swim suit and high heels! As you compete, you will have to start doing many things that will quickly get you out of your comfort zone. You immediately build confidence by going through the interview preparation process and the on-stage question portion of the pageant.

As you start to prepare for a pageant, you realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought was possible. A radiant new you begins to shine through the hard work you put in day by day.

Desiring to win a pageant and take the crown is a great dream to have! Dreams propel us to where we are meant to be. As you work hard giving everything you can to the dream that has been set in your heart, you become changed from the inside out. Having a dream creates so much confidence that can set you free and help you become who you were always meant to be. 

2. Service

Choose a platform you are SO PASSIONATE about and then tell the world to look out! 

When you choose a cause that is so dear to your heart, nothing in the world is going to stop you from serving! I have always loved service, but I didn't know how to reach 

out of my little comfort zone to make a difference. As I competed I started realizing how much I could do just in my own community, I started to touch lives and help others more than I ever dreamed of.

Pageants are the perfect outlet for you to give your whole heart to a cause or nonprofit that you believe in. You learn so much about marketing, fundraising, selflessly giving, and so much more!

I grew up loving service, but through pageants, I learned about how much I loved service in a new light and a new way. I was able to touch hearts that I had been missing without the competition. The pageant opened many doors for me to serve and it created this passion that is now forever written upon my heart!

3. Style

Thank goodness for Miss America giving me a reason to work on my outer beauty. 

While this isn't the most important part of the competition, it shows that you care about yourself and people trust people who take care about their-selves!

Also, this is another way to boost that confidence. You just feel happy and can focus on others when you dress the part of a confident girl!

It also taught me to be confident in me and my style. There is no set standard of beauty and we all have different styles. Pageants allow you to embrace who you are and your own style! Be confident in just being you!

4. Scholarship

There are so many opportunities for earning scholarship money through pageants!

Once you get past the local competition, the scholarships open up even more!

Scholarships are one of the greatest tools you can have to get you through school.

I earned a few scholarships on my journey and they were a 

tremendous blessing to me as I pay every penny for school out of my own pocket.

5. Success

Simply put, pageants give you a desire to live the most successful life you can dream of. 

They create a desire and passion within you to become successful in school, successful in a family life, and to have successful relationships. They create this passion within you to make success a reality in all areas of your life.

Pageants help you think out of your box, dream big, and give you hope that you can do the impossible!

6. Talent

Growing up, I took very little dance before my family realized we just couldn't afford it. After that, I never really had very many opportunities to develop a talent. Talents open your mind, give you purpose, and allow you to express yourself in creative ways.

I was so thankful for my competing in pageants to give me a second chance at developing a talent. I can now play the piano more than I ever thought would be possible.

Every talent takes time and dedication which wherein right there creates self-discipline that will overflow into all other areas of life! Choose a talent, work hard at it, and you have one of the biggest secrets to success in the palm of your hand.

7. Motivation

When competing in a pageant, you are working towards a goal that you are excited about! You can't help but feel motivated to do everything in your power to become your best self! Competing gave me motivation to reach my fullest potential. Preparing for a pageant gives you a reason to get out of bed every morning, you are motivated and

inspired by the dream in your heart and the competition ahead.

8. Health

Goodness, I hate to admit this one, but exercising and eating healthy wasn't always

something that came natural to me. In the pageant world, you have to work HARD no matter what body shape you have. Working out and clean eating starts to become a habit the more you practice it and understand it. Your mind and body feel so good because of the way you start caring for it. Pageants shouldn't be the only reason you choose to care for your body though! Set goals for your health and make them happen!

9. Current Events & more informed voting

 I never really cared about the news or about important topics that such as history and politics until I started studying for the pageant and realized just how much they affect me  personally. Pageants changed my view on the subjects that I was overlooking and taking for granted. Because current events are a very prominent subject in your personal interview, you have to obtain the knowledge about history and current events to create an opinion on your belief. This therefore equates to more knowledge about politics and politicians, leading you to be a more informed voter!

I have a lot more gratitude for the country that I live in and the freedoms that we exercise here, now that my mind has been opened. I also take more pride in voting because I recognize the influence I have and I want to use my voice to make a difference.

Plus knowing about current events gives you something to talk about with others when carrying a conversation.

10. Communication

In preparing for a pageant you get the opportunity of meeting so many different people.

Communication skills are naturally developed as you start talking to people every day.

Once you prepare for a pageant interview, you can handle ANY interview that ever comes your way.