I always wished I was a twin when I was growing up. I was the only child for seven years and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wished I could have a constant side kick who would understand me when I felt no one else did. I felt if I could just be a twin, then someone would get me at all times and I would never have to be alone again.
What's even better than having a twin as a best friend, is having a Savior. If my childhood self understood what I do now, I would have not dreamed so much about having a twin because Christ could fulfill the same role plus so much more. Christ is our best friend. He is our hero! He is bending backwards to catch us and save us.
Yesterday as I was sitting in front of the Relief Society room, my heart almost broke it was so full. I had never felt the love Christ had for those sisters as it did in that moment. Being called as a relief society president was so hard for me truth be told. I spent some moments crying from feelings of inadequacy and questioning God's timing. Truth be told, my heart was in a softer place about a year ago, just yearning to serve God's children and feeling so ready for a calling that would allow me to do so. After being called as the President at the timing that I was, I didn't understand. I had gone through the three hardest months of my life just prior to being called and I didn't know if I had what it would take to serve the Lord's children as they needed.
I would pray and ask Heavenly Father why now and why me, with so much doubt in my ability at the time. I knew without a doubt God loves His children enough to not let them fall, and yet I also knew I wasn't going to succeed at this calling alone, that wasn't ever the intention. Really, this was Christ's calling. We are 'The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints'. This Church is His!! Which means every single calling ever in this church is Christ's calling. We are just asked to serve Him, to be His assistant. No doubt would I succeed in this calling going at it alone, but with Christ's help, our relief society could be made stronger instead of weaker.
Which also helped me realize callings are something we shouldn't ever seek after because callings aren't ours. They aren't for praise or to give us a purpose in life. Christ will give you that without a calling. Callings are an opportunity to be an assistant to Christ at the times in our lives when we can best use our gifts and talents to serve those whom we will be called to watch over. It isn't our choice. It's all Christ. Christ knows best, He always knows best.
I needed to take my best friend to every single activity, meeting, church service, and personal prayers if this calling was going to work out. I have come to find that when my heart is open to what Christ would have me do, we succeed. When my heart is closed or I am perhaps relying on too much on my own confidence and not in the confidence of Christ, we fail or become weaker. Being President means nothing, no value or extra worth comes from that label. It's hard work, but Christ never ceases to bless you for the work you do. But calling or not, we all have opportunities to serve the Lord no matter the capacity.
We have so many beautiful girls with such strong testimonies in our ward. Our lesson yesterday was #6 from the manual about the atonement. We had an incredible discussion about who Christ is to us. One girl mentioned a situation she had been in in her life, one very trying and lonely and she mentioned how that would be one thing Christ wouldn't have to face on earth simply because it wasn't something he would encounter on his mortal journey. She mentioned that even though he may not have faced that and had that story recored in the scriptures as a trial, Christ still has felt that very exact pain in his body through the atonement. She talked about how it is incomprehensible for us to understand how he knows how it feels, but that doesn't make it any less true. Time isn't the same in the eyes of Heaven and when we are going through our trials, Christ isn't just sitting back watching and thinking "Oh I remember going through that." He is going through it at the very exact moment that we are. We aren't every left alone! EVER!
Christ is our advocate. He loves us. He is here to serve us, and we are here to serve Him. He is our very best friend, it's undeniable. We can push Him away and be left to our own, leading to a very empty, fleeting, and lonely life; or we can open our hearts, invite Him in, and always have a heart full of peace and happiness because Christ is the only way!
