How the atonement helped me overcome self-objectification

I was sitting in my PR Cases & Campaigns class bright and early this morning and we were watching examples of social ad campaigns. We observed this ad produced by Dove, one that I have seen numerous times previously, and the Spirit just hit me so strongly, right there in class reminding me of how incredible the atonement is! This is a bit of an interesting example and I have many, many more experiences with the atonement, but today I feel the need to share with you how incredibly powerful the atonement is through my personal self-objectification experience. 

Last year, from January to August 2014, I was more insecure of my personal image than I had ever been in my life. I feel prompted to share my experience with you even though I'm ashamed of it. I'm ashamed of it because of my perception now. I'm ashamed of it because the thoughts that I'm going to share with you are real and I know now exactly who they were coming from, the adversary. I'm ashamed because of the moments I wasted loving myself for who I am.

I had never really had much acne until January 2014, and it hit me hard. I was going through some stressful situations at this time, so maybe that triggered it, I have no idea because I'm still fighting it as I write this, but the words I am going to use to describe how I felt don't even slightly compare with the emotions that I feel now. Waking up one day with blemishes all over my face was a very new and real thing for me. I felt so self-conscious every single day. On every single date I went on, I wondered if they could see, I wondered if they noticed it. It was so hard for me to see past my acne, I would spend hours in my car crying, asking and pleading for comfort and trying to find my worth in the world. These words don't do justice to my feelings or emotions. It wasn't just my acne I was concerned with, I just didn't feel beautiful and glamorous like I desired. I don't look like a pageant girl, I never had. For some unknown reason the thought that I wasn't pretty enough and that's what mattered in this world would not leave me alone. My favorite place to go was the temple, I felt so beautiful in the temple. I felt my image didn't matter there. 

But on the days that I wasn't at the temple, every single morning I would wake up, put on my make-up, say "This is as good as it's going to get" and then I would cry and cry. How I looked was on my mind much more than I can proudly admit. These thoughts of what I wanted to change about my face and features consumed everything in me. I wanted to look like the stars you see on TV and in magazines. I would stare at these pictures, then go back and look in the mirror and I nit picked everything about myself. I'm telling you, these unhealthy thoughts consumed me like crazy. 

I didn't think any guy would ever desire to love me or marry me, because I didn't have flawless skin. I told you I'm ashamed to write out this post because huge mistake I had made in my thought process, mistaking guys for being that shallow. If you think a guy won't love you because you have acne or any other imperfection you would consider a flaw, then you are searching for the wrong guy. The right guy won't care one bit, I promise you this! Sure, there are plenty of conceited guys out there who will only date girls with a certain image, but do you really truly want to be with one of them? Love isn't based on image, attraction is very important in marriage don't get me wrong. But the right guy will be attracted to you just the way you are, I know this to be true. The right guy for you will first fall in love with you for your heart and everything will fall into place thereafter. 

I can distinctly remember sitting in my car, reflecting on my imperfections a few different times, I remember the exact location of where I was and how deeply my heart was grieving. Once again, I remind you that my description of my heart break doesn't even slightly reflect the worthlessness and heartbreak I felt based on my appearance. So I was sitting there just sobbing, and I asked Heavenly Father for a little help and understanding of why I felt the way I did and how I could feel beautiful and valuable once again. This was the beginning of my thought change process that took place through the atonement of Jesus Christ. 

Months passed by, every day I would wrestle with the Lord in my thoughts of my worth, why I thought it was all based on appearance during this time, I know not. July came and Colbie Callat released her new song 'Try'. I loved it but hated it. I would listen to it over, and over, and over again trying to convince myself that I didn't need to "try" to be beautiful and I already was. It didn't help that when Colbie takes off her makeup and all in the music video, the girl is still absolutely flawless. I should post a picture of me with no make-up on so you can see what I am talking about. 

As I prayed more and studied more of what it meant to be a daughter of God, my heart changed and grace carried me. It wasn't easy and it wasn't all over night, but I remember one day thinking, "You know, I stopped critiquing myself and crying over my image a few weeks ago. I really like who I am and I can see Christ's countenance in my image. It was then that I understood what Elaine Dalton meant by this quote; "There is no more beautiful sight than a young woman who glows with the light of the Spirit, who is confident and courageous because she is virtuous."

Suddenly I didn't care about looking like the girls in the media, I didn't care about comparing myself to others, and I didn't care as much about the flawed skin underneath my foundation. I just didn't care, and I felt beautiful just the way I am and I'm so grateful I was able to recognize that it was the atonement and grace that brought me to that point. I don't know why I had to go through those painful emotions over such a worldly thing, but I do know it helped teach me an invaluable lesson of worth and that it's the spiritual things that will always matter. Spiritual blessings can help you overcome or lessen any worldly pain you experience. 

I was spending all that time looking at myself through the eyes of the adversary. It was so damaging because it was distracting me of my divine earthly mission. Satan knows exactly what he is doing, don't let him win girls, fight back!! Did you wake up this morning and see yourself through the eyes of the Savior or the eyes of the adversary? It's a daily choice you get to make but I want to share 5 things that might help you to understand your worth and to feel beautiful inside and out every single day. 

5 actions to see yourself through the eyes of the Savior

1. Spend more time with the Savior

To see yourself through the eyes of someone, you really need to get to know them and understand who they are and what they believe in. Spend more time with the Savior than you actually spend getting ready in the morning. In fact, I challenge you to double the time. If you spend 30 minutes on your hair and makeup each morning, spend an hour with the Savior.

So how exactly do you spend time with the Savior? Learn of Him, learn of His teachings, learn of His attributes, and learn of His life and His legacy.

Here are a few suggestions...
- Watch bible videos of the Savior.
- Read '21 Days closer to Christ'
- Study Chapter 6 in Preach my Gospel about Christlike attributes
- Pray for gratitude and an understanding of the atonement + of grace
- Watch for Him daily in your life

2. Pray for an understanding of Individual worth and a love for who you are

So you've heard about individual worth, right? It's spoken of and recited all the time in Young Women's. Here's my favorite part about it though, even if you don't fully grasp what it means or understand how it applies to you personally, IT'S STILL THERE! Even if you don't feel individual worth and God's love pouring in your life or heart at this moment, that doesn't mean it is taken away. It is NEVER changing. It is perfect. It is infinite. It is there in the moments you feel and it is there in the moments you don't. If you don't understand it, pray to feel it, pray to understand it, pray to see it in your personal life. If you are diligent with this prayer, I personally testify to you that you will see it and feel it. I don't know when or how, but it will surround you and without a doubt you will know if you will just stay diligent!

3. Listen to empowering messages that teach you about who you are. Study what it means to be a daughter of God, more than you have ever studied anything ever before!

For me, this one was essential because if you are doubting your worth based on your outer beauty, you're missing the most important teaching in this church. For me, I had to really understand who I was and love that more than all else before I could learn or understand any other principle. This is the foundation for anything else to be built upon. Article of Faith number four teaches us that faith is the first principle of the gospel and if you don't understand that you're a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father and all that that entails, then you're missing something and that's why for me, this was the best place to start. 

Some great places to start:
- Daughter of a King playlist 
- Daughters of Heavenly Father talk
- Mosiah 5 
- This Lesson 

4. Dig deep into the scriptures

Really immerse yourself in the scriptures and get to know them inside and out. The goal is to know them so well that you find yourself reflecting more on scriptures and their stories instead of all the negative thoughts of worthlessness this world can have you believing. You want to be so focused on the goodness and gems the scriptures offer that you won't have time to really focus on the insecurities that you may be faced with. Study scriptures based on individual worth. Study the stories of the woman heroes and make it a goal to become as noble as them. 

5. SERVE

Lose yourself and go serve others! If you find yourself thinking too much about yourself, it's time to forget yourself and let Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ take care of all your worries and concerns while you serve Them. You are the chosen one to serve those in your circle of influence. If you find yourself dwelling on imperfections and insecurities, pray about, forget it, then go bake cookies and take them to a friend! I promise you it works. You deserve a treat too! (No bake cookies are my favorite, just in case you were wondering ;) 

Then watch this short clip!

But please girls, 
please remember that you are NEVER, EVER alone!

My opinions on success, motherhood, and some other ramblings

I used to believe success meant prosperity, money, titles, achievements and accomplishments. Today I got a very good look at all of those things, meeting with moms who are very successful from a worldly standpoint. While I spoke with them, I had the opportunity to see their daughters in the same room with them. I got to see the interactions between these mothers and daughters, as well as their similarities and differences. These successful mothers appeared to be incredibly happy, but in my heart I just couldn't bring myself to desire what they had. While many of these moms were active LDS, I still felt something was missing, perhaps it was enough for them, but not enough for what my heart and spirit desires to obtain. I should make some disclaimers right away before I proceed. I am not judging these incredible mothers and their daughters. I admire and respect them for all that they are and all that they have obtained. I am simply different than them and that is 100% okay. What I am going to write about is my own personal opinion, it may be completely far fetched and inaccurate. While I am LDS and I try to live what I believe, I am not perfect and therefore I have no right to judge another, so the rest of this post is simply my thoughts on the person I want to become. 

I can't speak for others and perhaps these mothers and daughters are truly and purely happy, but just for one moment, I considered what it would be like to be them; living in such luxury with incredible success underneath their belt, not even for one moment could I picture myself declaring "Yes, that's exactly what success and true happiness looks like. Yes this is what happiness is all about for me." To me, success is giving every single thing I have to offer to my Savior, Jesus Christ, and after I gave all that I possibly could, I would give one more thing. I am not close to that, I work daily at it but I fall short every single time and that's why I am still learning, still being tested, still being tried. But to me, that's what happiness is. As weird as it is, the times I am hurting or wondering what more I can give, those are the times I am happiest. That's because those are the times I am most humble. Those are the moments that I recognize anything I have or any worldly success I have obtained is all thanks to my wonderful Heavenly Father, none of it is mine, it's all His. Just recognizing that and then being willing to give even that back to Him, to me that's what success looks like. Success can't ever be based on temporary or frivolous things, at least not in my eyes. I listened in as a few of these girls named off some of the things they were most grateful for, as I did this, my heart just broke for the emptiness this list contained. This is an LDS girl who is fifteen years old;  her list consisted of makeup, clothes, the car she will be getting soon, etc, etc. What about friends? Good parents? Health? The ability to walk? The gospel in her life? This experience just opened my eyes to what I want to teach my girls if and when I have the very incredible blessing of being a mom. I don't want my daughters or sons for that matter to be raised loving worldly things. Worldly things are temporary and don't bring the spirit or the understanding that gospel principles offer. I want my children to really know and understand the source of everything that will bless their life. 

I realize my ideas and philosophies in life are so different from the majority of the world, perhaps they are very different than those in the church as well. But right now I'm soaking up anything and everything about parenting and raising youth. I believe the most important thing any parent needs to do is live by example. The example of whatever that may be that they desire to teach their children. If they desire to teach them gossip, all that parent has to do is just that...gossip! Now hopefully that won't be the case, but perhaps that is the number one cause of gossip, they learned it from a parents example. Perhaps even just one time is enough for the child to catch on and emulate what has been observed from the eyes of the child. 

I know for me, I want to raise kind and loving children in the gospel. Children that love to pray and read scriptures. While I can tell them to read and pray, I can teach them these acts, or even command them to do so... I feel that is wrong, and perhaps will push them away (you know, the whole reverse psychology thing). The best possible thing I can do as a parent is to practice this until I become perfect in it, and then perhaps they will follow in my example. I don't think being an example is a guarantee for children to grow up and live their life like you did yours, and most likely thank goodness for that, at least for me ha ha. I know so many very good and righteous parents who have children that have struggled or lost their way. But if example isn't the foundation of your parenting skills, then I believe anything you teach them has a huge chance of tumbling down and not becoming apart of who they are.

I desire to be the mom that doesn't wear makeup every single day because I want to teach my daughters that beauty comes from within. I have lots of acne, it's not attractive but I do know that the outward appearance doesn't matter even slightly as much as the emphasis and pressure we put upon it. I want my girls to love who they are without needing name brands and following the latest trends. I have a hard time with this concept because I can't even describe to you how much I desired to fit in at school. And yet I didn't, and I so desperately wish I would have been taught that it doesn't matter. I wish someone would have just pointed out that my wishes were coming from a very temporary desire. I wish I would have been who I was, but owned that and embraced everything about it instead of trying to mold myself to become like everyone around me.

I desire to be a mom that always speaks so kindly of herself. I grew up in a home where my mom believed she wasn't smart at all. A mom that didn't feel like she had self-worth or value. A mom that didn't recognize what a good mother she was until her kids grew up. All of these negative statements she would make about herself daily started to really take hold of how I viewed myself. I started to believe that I wasn't smart, that I wasn't pretty, and that I wasn't enough. It was the example she had set, and I think if she would have known how much I watched her and would take after her, she would have done things so much differently. Thank goodness I was able to catch onto this and have now found daily practice to overcome the negative beliefs I had developed some time ago, from something so simple but so profound. 

Mothers, what you say and think about yourself or anyone else for that matter, can really affect your children. They are watching you at every moment whether you know it or not. You are their role model, you are the first woman they ever fully get to know in their young growing years. While you have to separate your worth and success from the choices your children and teens will make, it's important to be the example for what you do desire them to become.

Growing up, I thought I had all the answers, don't we all? I thought I would desire to give my children the items they asked for. I thought I would have the desires to spoil them until they knew they were loved. My eyes have been opened and I now recognize that items and money do not equate to love. Making your children work hard for what they do have, that's love! Teaching your children through example, that's love! Not giving your children everything they desire, that's love! Asking them to sacrifice things they may hold dear to their heart over all else, that's love! No wonder Heavenly Father has perfect love for His children, He does just that and so much more. Everything I want to teach my children, every attribute I want to have as a parent, I must look to Him for the example He offers me. And for me to become a more humble daughter and more loving to both my Heavenly and earthly parents, I have my Savior to look to for His perfect example of being a perfect son.

To my future children, it's possible we may live forever in a very humble home with very humble upbringings, not because I don't desire to work hard, but because I desire to give back all that I will obtain to my Heavenly Father who has given it all to me! That's the kind of success that I desire to teach you. That's what I feel to be right in my heart and that's how I will show and teach you love!

Rambles from the temple parking lot

                    

   

I feel like writing a free write for all of you. Not sure what will come on this post but we shall see. So  I'm sitting in the parking lot of the Oquirrh mountain temple right now, I drove here because the temple parking lot is my reflecting place. I always keep my Book of Mormon in my purse, so I pulled it out and 1 Nephi 9:5-6 caught my eye. I'm in a weird mood right now, a mood where I'm not happy, not sad, not peaceful, and not broken. I feel nothing, it's weird but I'm pretty sure that I would rather feel something, anything right now. I said a prayer on the way here, so frustrated by something in my life. Frustrated from contradictory answers received from revelation and what church leaders say.

This line in verse 5 really caught me, "for a wise purpose in him, which Purpose I know not." This is exactly how I feel. I feel like I am supposed to trust and follow his wise purpose but I have no clue why and because it makes no sense, what about everything else standing in front of me saying there is no hope? 

I don't have answers and sometimes I forget how much my Heavenly Father loves me and desires to bless me. Sometimes I get caught holding the umbrella over my head telling Heavenly a father I don't want His outpouring blessings even though my spirit is pleading for them. Why? I know not. What I do know is that God has ALL POWER, it says so in verse 6. 

So what's the point of this post? I don't know but I know the more I think about hope, the more I believe in hope. The more I push myself to pray when I really don't feel like it, the more blessings pour over my heart (and sometimes it takes FOREVER for my heart to fully open in that prayer). 

Sometimes I feel stuck. 

Sometimes I have really hard moments wondering how any good can come out of the situations I go through. 

Sometimes I have to work SO HARD at humbling myself so the Spirit can speak to me. 

Sometimes I feel weighed down. 

Sometimes I don't feel enough. 

Sometimes I plead for tender mercies or for a hand to reach out, and sometimes those prayers are answered immediately. 

Sometime I am more blessed than I deserve and sometimes I fully recognize that. 

Sometimes the Spirit speaks to my heart through posts like these. 

So I'll stop rambling on now, and if you made it to this point of this post, wow! I just want you to know how totally imperfect I am and while I strive to be more and become better daily, I am flawed but I am enough and that's all that matters. 

I want to leave you with 5 pieces of advice: 

1. If you don't feel like praying, do it anyways. Do you know how many times I don't feel like it? I'm not going to count, but prayer is what brings me to humility so Heavenly Father can speak to me, and that's what brings me peace + happiness that can't be found anywhere else. 

2. Don't EVER seek the approval of ANYONE other than Heavenly Father. Lately I've been caught in the trap wondering what others think or say about me behind my back. Does it really matter? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! A good scripture for this is Romans 8:31 "If God be for us, who can be against us?" God's approval will take you to the greatest place you can ever desire to reach. Pleasing others will never help you, it will destroy you! 

3. Remember that God keeps His promises. He loves you so much, He cares about you and desires for you to receive many blessings! He is in the details of your life, don't forget it! In the moments you think He's not aware of you, He is SO involved in your life!

4. Stop trying to find faults in others, are they there? Yes, of course. We are imperfect people but let's build one another up and assume at all times that everyone is doing the avail best that they can be doing. If they're not, that's okay. That's not our problem and Heavenly Father will take care of it as we humbly overlook it! 

5. If you are looking to obtain or recognize spiritual gifts, start practicing them because they can be developed. Remember the parable of the talents? They grow as you use them, it's a gift so put it to use to get better at what you desire! 

Well, I apologize for all the typos. I did this on my phone! I wanted to try something new and it was pretty amazing! 

Your Celestial Journey - A talk for LDS Young Women

I came across THIS incredible talk by Thomas S. Monson from 1999. I thought it was so great. It was addressed to the young women of the church and I absolutely LOVED it! I wanted to highlight a few of my favorite gems that really caught my heart!

This was the theme of the talk.. oh how I just LOVED it so of course I had to make you a printable. 

Highlights from the talk...

"Our Heavenly Father has placed an upward reach in every one of us. The words of scripture speak loud and clear: “Look to God and live.”  No problem is too small for His attention nor so large that He cannot answer the prayer of faith. Prayer surely is the passport to spiritual power. You can pray with purpose when you realize who you are and what Heavenly Father wants you to become."
 - Thomas S. Monson

Alma 37:47  - "Look to God and Live" 

Isn't that quote just SO great?! That scripture is so dear to my heart. Lately, in moments of fear or doubt this scripture helps me to remember that I just need to keep living my life, doing all that I can and pushing forward in action and as I look to God while I am living my life, He will constantly guide me, bless me, and protect me. I want my heart to constantly be turned to Him.

Now, let's talk about prayer being a passport to spiritual power. The definition of a passport is "a thing that ensures admission to or the achievement of something." The word that struck me from the definition is ENSURES. So simply put, prayer is making certain, even guaranteeing that we will have the ability to obtain spiritual guidance in our life. 

Spiritual power is something we could study about for days, if not weeks on end. I came across this talk I loved titled 'Spiritual Power'. Talking about spiritual power, I also think of the book 'Drawing on the Powers of Heaven', by Grant Von Harrison {It is such a great book, if you haven't read it I highly suggest it.} But to simply sum up spiritual power, it is drawing down divine guidance and revelation from the heavens. POWERFUL!! And to think that that sacred gift is a guarantee for us if we would just but pray...ahhh I LOVE that. :)


"Life was never meant to be all smiles and happiness. There will come those teaching times to each of you when you will witness the love of your mother, the strength of your father, and the inspiration of God." 
- Thomas S. Monson

"Life was never meant to be all smiles and happiness." Isn't this so great? So can I be honest and tell you a story? A few years ago I had just gotten out of a really bad experience and I was trying so hard to find happiness and peace in my life. I thought if I would just look towards the bright side of everything and forget that sadness and trials were even a thing, they wouldn't exist. I could completely block it out. Well I came home from church one day and I sat down to talk with my parents and I said "Do you know what really bothers me about church? It drives me crazy that in the church we focus so much on trials and hard times in life. I don't want to dwell on hard moments or be reminded so often that they exist." To this day I haven't forgotten my words, but CLEARLY I was missing and forgetting something. I was missing the fact that trials are about the most beautiful blessings we have in this world. They allow us to see miracles and witness the love our Heavenly Father has for us. I was forgetting the principle of grace and the love our Savior offers us daily to help us get through the hard times. I was missing the concept of endurance and patience and even though life really isn't all smiles and pure happiness, we are here to be tried and tested and there would be no point to this life if all we were doing is blocking out our hard times, what would we gain from that? Now, as hard as it is, I look at church and life just a little bit different. I can't get enough of the talks and lessons on trials. Trails are a constant reminder to me of the atonement and it is always there for me to access and draw upon in my times of need. There is no greater solution to our problems than Christ, He is the answer to all tribulations. 

"Study with purpose, both in church and in school. Write down your goals and what you plan to do to achieve them. Aim high, for you are capable of eternal blessings." 
- Thomas S. Monson

We have been asked to study the doctrine of the church as well as get an education in nonsecular areas. What a beautiful statement that we must never forget. "Write down your goals!" Until a goal is written down and planned for with steps to achieve it, it is just a dream or a wish. We are capable of eternal blessings as we aim high, a man who is now our modern day prophet is the one speaking these words! We would be oh so wise to listen.

"You must make your decisions purposefully." 

 - Thomas S. Monson

This quote really struck me because how many times a day are we making decisions? SO MANY! And if we made every decision based on a purpose of what we want our end result to be and what sign we want to show Heavenly Father, we would be SO blessed! Our loving Heavenly Father desires us to each become good decision makers, which is why we were given the gift of agency at birth. Every decision takes us to a road with more decisions and we are going to end up in an incredible place if we make our decisions with much purpose and prayer. 

"Young sisters, your opportunities to reach outward and bless the lives of others are limitless. 
Avoid the tendency to postpone a prompting or an opportunity to grow and to serve."
- Thomas S. Monson

We have limitless opportunities to serve, how incredibly exciting!!! I've noticed that for me it is only limitless when my eyes are outward looking. When I am inwardly focused, I have a much harder time feeling the love my Heavenly Father has for me. However, when I am searching for opportunities to share goodness and help others, they are all over the place and I feel blessed that I could be there in that moment to play just a little role in being an instrument in the hand of the Lord. Just today I saw an opportunity to help someone, I felt a prompting to ask this lady if she needed a ride as it was raining. I went to go turn around to approach her and by the time I got to her, she was gone. Now am I second guessing that prompting, NO WAY!! Heavenly Father saw that I had the willing heart to help her and I truly believe because He witnessed my efforts that He will bless me with many opportunities in the future.

"Procrastination is truly a thief of time. Meet the daily challenges of your lives."
- Thomas S. Monson

So this one hit my hard, yes, procrastination may be a bit of my weakness. "Why do I procrastinate?" I ask myself every time I am working and stressing to meet a last minute deadline. Well I know why I do it, I get so overwhelmed with everything I have going on at once that I just have a brain crash of some kind and I then I think to myself "Ah well, I can do that later." NO! I can't. Now I have been asked by a spokesperson of the Lord to not procrastinate. If you find yourself procrastinating, kneel down and ask for Heavenly Father's help to finish the project that you have at hand. He knows you personally and He desires to help you in all the big and small moments of your life. 

"A patriarchal blessing contains chapters from your life’s book of possibilities." 
- Thomas S. Monson

Can we just break down this quote because breaking down words in the English language is really SO fascinating to me. Okay so have the word chapters. So chapters to me sound like a definate thing. In this context, a chapter is a promised blessing from Heavenly Father. Something that will be fulfilled as long as you are living worthily! Isn't that wonderful? Have you taken the time to really thank Heavenly Father for the blessings that are promised to your name, even if they have yet to be fulfilled. A possibility is something that may or may not happen, right? So we have a life of endless possibilities that is waiting you. YOUR life is your fairytale book, it's your story that is being written as we speak. There are several possibilities that away you, moments of adversity that will need to be triumphed as well as moments of happily ever after happiness and bliss. But as you make wise decisions and as you are faithful to the promises you have made to Heavenly Father and you do all that you can do, those chapters (or promised blessings) WILL be fulfilled! And to me that is AMAZING!

Go listen to this talk, then come back her and tell me what stood out to you!

Trials can be beautiful

Trials have been heavy on my mind lately. All day today when I heard about something heartbreaking, my heart felt for them so deeply, but inside I was sincerely rejoicing for them. Rejoicing for the fact that Heavenly Father sees potential within these people who are facing difficulties, rejoicing in the fact that they get the chance to become refined and a little bit better, rejoicing in the fact that Heavenly Father will be able to use them in a unique way either in this life or the next because of what they went through, and rejoicing in that fact that Heavenly Father's love for them is so apparent as He is allowing and customizing all of this curriculum specifically for them. Trials are a sign of love, faith, and an infinite perspective of potential the Lord sees in you! Aren't trials just beautiful???!!!

Now, before you think I've gone crazy or perhaps grown in-compassionate, I will tell you that I'm going to have moments where I won't always feel this in my heart. I had a really good glimpse into an eternal perspective today! It was beautiful and priceless. We as mortals, in earthly bodies are constantly subject to the natural man, which means our faith and thoughts aren't consistently going to see everything clearly, but every once in awhile as we seek through study and prayer the plan Heavenly Father has for us, we can see just a little bit of what He sees. While I truly believe trials are beautiful, and I'm slightly tempted to ask for more because I love the growth that results from it, I know in the moment I'm given one I'll doubt and second guess. I know I'll have moments of hesitation where I wonder what the purpose is or if this pain is truly what love feels like. This moment I am writing this is a blessed one, it's a moment where I can see clearly and my perspective is eternal and in this moment I want to bear my testimony on the power of trials, and the goodness that always comes as a result.

Challenge: Write down every single trial you have ever experienced. Anything that broke your heart or brought you to your knees. 

Then find a quiet time when you can thank Heavenly Father for every single one of them. You may be able to all at once, or it may take some time till you can sincerely thank Him for your most difficult ones. But peace can enter your heart as you thank Him for these most unique but most incredible blessings He has ever offered us. 

Are you surprised by all that you have been through and overcome? I was. I still think I'm working on my list as new ones keep coming to mind. How empowering to see what you've been through and the strength that is within you because of these experiences.

Check out these talks here and here! 

A mighty leap of faith - Personal Progress Faith #1

I am working on the Young Women's Personal Progress program again. I have received my medallion twice, but it has been awhile. I believe being single is a beautiful time in your life to become your absolute best self. It's a time to improve in every area until you meet the one you want to spend the rest of eternity with and then you can proceed to grow together.

I am working on Faith exercise #1.

Gaining a testimony doesn't happen all at once. I wish I would've known this at different parts of my life. As a little girl, up until I graduated high school, my testimony was rock solid. I followed every commandment and standard to the T. As life progressed, different situations I was put in really tested my testimony and my faith.

I've come to understand it's the moments where I look back often saying "Why isn't it like this anymore? Why don't I feel that way anymore?" That's when the actual change has taken place. Things are never supposed to stay the same. If you are looking back missing what was comfortable to you, you've already changed. These changes aren't often noticeable day by day, week by week, or even month by month. The changes I have seen within myself are often small and slow . You're always changing and growing when you're depending on your faith. It's not meant for you to see because that would be perfect knowledge and faith isn't perfect knowledge. {Alma 32:21} Heavenly Father wants you to keep walking forward and He doesn't always point out how far you have come because then it wouldn't be faith. Have faith that if you are doing good things in your life, then you ARE moving forward! Have faith that as you make good and righteous choices daily, that are becoming the person God desires you to be.

Changes don't come all at once, that's not the way it's supposed to be. But slowly and surely you will get there. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? Who won? The tortoise because he took his time. Faith takes time, patience, diligence to grow where we would desire it to be. If your faith isn't where you desire it to be, just keep living and acting on the faith you do have and I promise you it will grow!

There is also such thing as a 'leap of faith'.

Elder Boyd K. Packer said, "Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that “leap of faith,” as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two. “The spirit of man,” is as the scripture says, indeed “is the candle of the Lord.”"

Three years ago around this time, I had some major decisions to make. One in particular.

This exact song was playing in my car one day, and something about one of the scripture heroes in this song struck me hard. It was then that I knew exactly what I needed to do and while I didn't know the how, I knew the what. It was the hardest decision I had ever had to make in my life. I relied on this song constantly, as it gave me the courage and strength I needed to follow through with the decision that would be my biggest leap of faith yet. 

But what exactly is a leap of faith? A leap is to move or act quickly or suddenly. When I think of leaping, I picture myself leaping across from one mountain to another, unsure if I will make the land or if the long and deep valley will catch my fall with deep pain and sorrow instead. To take of leap of faith it is believing that Heavenly Father will always help you land and will never let you sink or fall in-between the mountains. A leap of faith is letting go of something/someone that has great value to you, knowing it will be replaced with something much more fitting for your life because Heavenly Father knows you perfectly.

So back to my story, yes I took the leap of faith. I did what I needed to do. It was so hard and yet so right. It took so long for me to understand all the reasons, in fact somethings are still unfolding for me but I have never been happier and I know I am on the track Heavenly Father wants me on and I know He is pleased with me. I couldn't have taken that leap without much diligence in prayer, scripture study, and pondering. The Lord loves to bless us and all we have to do is make the simple sacrifices He asks of us. What seems like the biggest sacrifice we could possibly fathom, is really but a small seed because in the eternal perspective of things, all sacrifices and leaps of faith are worth it because they bring about the most joyful of all blessings. Personally, I desire to be like the King in Alma 22:15, so willing to give away my entire kingdom, absolutely anything and everything I have, even my HEART. i would give anything for my Father.

He asks us for our heart, meaning "our will" or "our desire", not just because He wants to collect all our hearts in a jar for Himself and see how much He can make us live without. It's actually on the contraire, He desires to bless us with SO, SO much more, and the Lord always keeps His promises.

I LOVE studying Alma 32:17-43 

I am sure you have heard all of these thoughts and principles hundreds of times, but here are my personal notes from these verses. 

- It isn't faith if you know.

- You are asked to have faith in things you don't have all the answers to.

- If ye have FAITH, ye hope for things which are not seen which are true. (This particular scripture is often misinterpreted because we personally don't get to decide what is true or right for our life. Just because it's something we want or desire doesn't mean we can assume it's true. This is where prayer and revelation is SO important, we have to ask Heavenly Father what for us is true.)

- God is merciful and wants you to believe in His word.

- Men and women can receive His word through angels.

- Humble yourselves, faith isn't a perfect knowledge!

- Even if it's just a desire, let this desire work within you.

- It's a good seed if it's delicious unto you, bringing peace and understanding.

- When the seed starts to grow, you will know without a doubt that it's a good seed.

- Your mind begins to expand.

- Light is GOOD! But it doesn't bring perfect knowledge .

- Have diligence and be patient in all that is good!

And this post just reminded me of Elder Holland's last General Conference talk, found here. 

The Ultimate Gift - LDS lessons and parallels

If you know me well, you know my favorite movie of all time is "The Ultimate Gift." If you haven't seen it....WELL... you are missing out! It's okay, you can borrow mine! :)

I listened to this talk recently, trying to learn more about covenants and it reminded me SO much of this movie! If you don't want the movie to be spoiled, go watch it then come back and read!


Okay, here it goes!

So in this movie, a young man named Jason Stevens is sent on a beneficial journey by his deceased grandfather to gain a large amount of inheritance. But to obtain this inheritance, he must pass through "tests" of life lessons, which his grandfather refers to as GIFTS!

These are the lessons or gifts he must pass through!

The gift of work 

Heavenly Father often asks us to do His will, which takes work. Lots of work. This can require obedience, sacrifice, and consecration depending upon the situation. The work that is asked of us often isn't easy. Sometimes it takes courage, faith, and great devotion to work hard even when the road seems long ahead.

The gift of friends

The gift of friends in my perspective is about love, service, missionary work, and charity. The reason our church loves missionary work is because we know the happiness the gospel can bring and we desire all to have it. True friendship is wanting what is best for the other person. How often do we forget ourselves and serve with our whole heart? How often do we break away from our own cliques and groups of friends to make more friends and to make others feel valuable and important? How often do we dig for the heartfelt stories of others instead of just the surface ones?

I know I have improvement to make in this area and I desire to be a better friend. I want to give more and do more. I want charity to be written on my heart always! The way to live a happy life is to focus less on yourself and more on all the other people!

The gift of money

In the movie, Jason Stevens is asked to give away a certain amount of money to a good cause. He gives beyond that and learns that money is extremely valuable when it ends up making a difference in life of others, such as a very young girl who is fighting for her life day in and day out in the hospital. Happiness comes from giving away wealth instead of obtaining as much as you can possibly acquire for selfish reasons.

Oh how I love with my whole heart that we have the OPPORTUNITY to pay tithing (10% of all our income) to the Lord. How wonderful that we can learn about sacrifice and faith through this incredible principle. It's so wonderful that we can give our money to the Lord and watch what He does with it, the money goes far and blesses many. The Lord always sends blessings when we do this with much faith.

Just as the law of sacrifice is to tithing so is the law of consecration to the principle of fast offerings. I love this principle just as much. We are asking for something through a fast and we are giving something in return. Our fast offerings bless many lives as they are sent to help the needy. This is a definitely a celestial principle; where much is given, much is required. Something we need to master in this life so we will be happy and comfortable when we live with Him.

The gift of gratitude 

This is another one I'm working hard at. I try to have an optimistic, bright-side approach to ALL things, yet in the moments of trials, I am there whining and overlooking the blessings that lie right in front of me. How I yearn to be grateful in every single moment without hesitation.

Gratitude is what opens our eyes to the blessings Heavenly Father is bestowing upon us moment by moment. I truly desire to recognize His hand in my life more often and to do that my eyes must be more open. The more we practice gratitude, the easier it becomes to find in the moments we need it most. His hand is ALWAYS there! He loves us and wants us to see what He is doing for us. Gratitude is the perfect antidote for a broken or weary heart! Open your eyes and see what He has done for you today! There is always something to find!

The gift of a day

Life is so short. This beautiful little girl in the movie, Emily teaches us just that! Are we ones that take our days for granted? 

In Psalms 118:24, we read "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

The Lord desires us to be happy and recognize the importance of life. It was our choice to come to earth, it was our choice to learn and grow. Why would we take these moments and be sorrowful in them, for they are the moments that prepare us for our exaltation. 

Heavenly Father made our lives to be measured by breaths, because it is in every breath we take that counts. It is in one day that we can accomplish so much if we just but focus and get to work! Let's consecrate our days to Him and see what He does with them!

The gift of dreams

Heavenly Father accomplishes what needs to be done on this earth through people, people like me and you! That's the beauty of our dreams, they often connect with the dreams of others or the needs of others and that's where the miracles and connections take place!

What's your dream? Is it a dream that will benefit others? Is it a dream that will bring you closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? If not, pray for one! 

Dreams are powerful and they can take us to the most incredible places, allowing us to cross paths with people that we need in our lives. Our dream often require a lot of hard work and so much self-discipline. But aren't these beautiful concepts also what we need on this earthly journey to prepare us for Heaven?

Establish a dream, put it in your heart, consecrate it unto Heavenly Father and then GET TO WORK! You can do all things through Christ who will strengthen you! {Philippians 4:13} 


Quote from this movie:

"What he's trying to do is for your benefit, not your destruction." 
(Sounds like what Heavenly Father does for us!!!)

Jason Steven's: "I was expecting a different feeling or something"
"Red's Secretary: That's because you are now a different person." :-)

"If you do work like you just did, and you can do anything!"

"Our lives should be lived not avoiding problems but welcoming them as challenges that will strengthen us so that we can victorious in the future."

"Do you know God paints every color on a butterfly with His finger?"



In the end, after he went through all these lessons, which were really gifts the entire time, he was blessed. Oh SO blessed! But if Jason Stevens had just acquired all the blessings and inheritance immediately after his grandfather's passing, he would not have loved it or appreciated what he was given. He HAD to pass through these tests to be fit for the inheritance that he earned. 

We too have to obey, sacrifice, and consecrate everything we have so that can be fit for the Celestial Kingdom. If we didn't pass through these tests of trials, faith, and the test of obedience and humility towards the Lord, we wouldn't be happy or fit to live in the Celestial Kingdom. 

I know in my life, the more I act upon serving Heavenly Father and the more knowledge I obtain, the greater my desire is to return to live with Him again and obtain celestial glory. Without these experiences, we don't understand or desire what we are taught to seek after!

I can only imagine what Heaven will be like, and yet I am no artist. Heavenly Father is the most perfect creator, author, illustrator, and designer that will ever exist. I can't even comprehend what He has in store for each of us. But I do know that He not only desires to bless us moment by moment here on earth, but after we pass through all these tribulations and really hard tests in this life those blessings will be multiplied by more than we can possibly even fathom. I want to work my hardest here on earth so that I can be prepared to meet Him. I want to do everything I can so I can be prepared to live the life He lives.

Bruce R. Mckonckie said "And every member of his church has this promise: That if he remains true and faithful—obeying, serving, consecrating, sacrificing, as required by the gospel—he shall be repaid in eternity a thousandfold and shall have eternal life. What more can we ask?"

Don't forget to read the talk at the beginning of this post! :)

What will you give Heavenly Father this day so you will be prepared to live with Him again? I know what I need to do! Let's go get em'!