The Lesson of the Train

I am so honored to have my friend Jamie on the blog today. She is someone I have so much admiration and respect for.

Jamie created www.writinginthestillness.com as a place of peace, comfort, and rest from the cares of our busy world. In this space she writes about peace, following your dreams, faith, and creating family memories among other things. She believes that in this world of evil and uncertainty, there is also so much of good and beauty—if we know how to look. Her small and simple hope is that when others read her words, they will be lifted to new heights and feel closer to their Heavenly Father. Jamie is also a contributor on www.multiplygoodness.com -- a community of like-minded believers seeking to spread goodness to the world.

Jamie has lived in several states throughout her life and Portugal for two years, where she served a mission with her family. She has her bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education, but is currently living her dream as a homemaker. She lives with her husband Patrick and their three sweet children. She loves to beautify her home, create family traditions, record family memories, plan vacations, and curl up with a good book and a cozy blanket.

The Lesson of the Train

Lately, I have been writing on my blog all about following your dreams: the importance of having a dream, how to find the dream you are meant to live now, and the 7 step process of turning your dreams into reality.

But today I want to focus on how to get answers and guidance as you go about creating your dreams.

Even when we make the best of plans, there will be days when we find ourselves lost, scattered, and somewhat ungrounded. This was me yesterday. The weight of all my current dreams started feeling heavy and cumbersome. Stretched in too many directions, time was slipping away all too fast. Does this ever happen to you? The words of my seven-year-old son at the dinner table made me smile: “Time is like the swoosh of a jet plane,” he commented. And he was right.

So many questions hounded me and yet I felt no spare seconds gracing my day in which to commune with my Father and wait for His answers.

So we hurried through dinner and I hurried off to a Young Women’s meeting and afterwards hurried into my car to hurry home. My fingers instinctively went to the music dial, but I paused, and decided that tonight I would just listen in the stillness of my car to the whisperings of the Spirit. I thought to myself how lucky I was to have a seven-minute drive home to ponder. But then I wondered if seven minutes would be enough to “solve my world problems.”

I rounded the corner and saw railroad lights flashing, brake lights of the cars in front of me, and the slow chug of a passing train. I slowed to a stop and put my car in park. I knew how long these trains could be and I offered an audible prayer thanking the Lord for this tender mercy.

Because in the quiet of my old car waiting for the train to pass in the twilight, Heavenly Father helped me solve my problems.  All He needed was my time, and in return, He gave me deep peace.

So on those days when questions flood, and commitments crowd, and time starts “swooshing like a jet plane,” remember the lesson of the train and choose to pause. Choose to go somewhere quiet—even if only for a few minutes, to commune and ponder. Pour out your heart to the heavens and listen.

Because He will meet you in the stillness…

Spiritual Lessons from Pasta

I was listening to a conference talk one morning, reminding us that if we want His spirit to always be with us, we always have to have the Savior in our minds at all times. I stopped and thought to myself for a moment, "How many times am I thinking of my Savior, especially while I am at work?" Of course thoughts of my Savior come to my mind at least a few times a day, especially when praying or feeling alone and needing comfort, but ALL the time? No, sadly that wasn't the case for me. I have at least three pictures on each wall of my bedroom of the savior, totaling about 10 pictures of Christ. They all speak to my heart in different ways and each picture has helped me through a different trial. I took one of these pictures of my Savior and put it in my purse and headed off for work.

When I got to work, I taped it to my computer. I'm an extremely visual person. I knew I needed to be able to see him and visually feel my Savior close to me if I wanted to keep him in my mind and heart at ALL times. As I got to work, it started to be a pretty busy day and I was feeling a bit bogged down. My happy spirit that was shining through so brightly the day before seemed to be lacking. Then an individual did something to me that hardened my heart. I was frustrated and annoyed and didn't understand the why. I quickly forgave and continued on serving this individual, but something in my heart was still frustrated and I couldn't seem to let it go from my mind. After I was done assisting, I sat back down and my desk and there it was, the picture of my Savior and the words instantly followed, "What would Jesus do?" My heart softened a bit more but I was still pretty worn from the day and I just wanted the day to be over.

I headed home for lunch. Deciding what I was going to eat, I put on a cd of peaceful piano music by Marshall McDonald. I then realized I was really desiring pasta, so I decided that's what I was going to make. While the water was coming to a boil, I sat down to read from my favorite book EVER, 'Becoming His'. I read a story in there about a wise heart (you'll have to read it for yourself) but I could feel the spirit start to speak to my heart and energy started to exchange the feelings worn out exhaustion I had five minutes previous. 

I started to pour the box of pasta into the boiling water. Stirring the pasta I recognized my state of mind and the excitement I felt to precede with my day. AND THEN my mind was led to recall an experience from while making pasta three weeks ago. During this experience, the spirit told me to ponder upon lessons I could learn from my boiling pot of spaghetti. I thought long and hard about the concept of hot water and how it softens noodles and makes them so much better, it changes the formation because of heat. I had reflected upon what other lessons to take away from that experiences a few times since but I never came up with anything too profound. I kept wondering what Heavenly Father was trying to teach me. What principle was I missing that he would have me learn? Why would he desire that I reflect so hard on such an interesting thing?

As I was standing in my kitchen, reflecting upon that experience, I looked down at the noodles softening to an edible taste, this experience flooded back into my mind and the words SOFTENED HEART spoke loud and clear and the spirit surrounded me. I really wasn't supposed to learn anything too profound from my boiling pot of water three weeks previously, but I was supposed to learn the concept of pondering. Of really focusing and reflecting on the principles Heavenly Father tries to teach me daily. 

This experience taught me the more I ponder over principles, or scriptures, or spiritual lessons and replay them in my mind over and over again, the more it sticks in my mind and becomes written on my heart. I have been overlooking pondering for far too long. I think of every principle that has ever stuck with me and it's because I took the time to ponder it, mediating over it, and think of it from every angle I could comprehend.

Joseph Smith even says he "reflected on it again and again." {JSH 1:12}. The more we reflect, the more it becomes a part of who we are. I want to reflect more. I want to open my eyes and my heart for understanding of what the Lord is trying to show me. 

This was such a simple but extremely spiritual experience. I find that I learn in the simplest and silliest of ways, and I LOVE it! It wasn't by accident this all happened in the same day either. Heavenly Father helped me to recognize His hand in helping me to soften my heart as I kept praying for it over and over. I LOVE the way the Lord teaches me. I LOVE the way I can fill the spirit so strongly as I boiling a pot of noodles. Perhaps you don't learn this way and that's OKAY! Just remember to PONDER and to ponder often! Pray about what you ponder and you will learn how the spirit speaks to you. Spiritual lessons are supposed to be found in the every day journey of life. Look for them and you will find them. Ask Heavenly Father to teach you and I promise He will, just be sure your eyes are open and your heart is in a place where the message will get through!  

"The Lord has told us continually to ponder His word in order that we may understand." (Knowing what you believe, believing what you know) I STRONGLY encourage you to read this talk!

#DearMe - International Women's Day

This post is in celebration of International Women's Day, which is today March 8th! You Tube took a global initiative to inspire and empower girls everywhere through the hashtag DearMe. Encouraging girls to give advice to their younger selves. 

With my passion for girls and empowerment, I immediately knew I had to jump on board and give some advice to my younger teenage self. While we can't go back in time and relive moments or all of high school (which, let's be honest, some days I dream of doing), we can start now to take these lessons learned and pass them on, and that's why I had to get involved. 

This may be a letter to my younger teenage self, but it's also a letter to every teenage girl out there! Perhaps as girls, we can all unite together and learn from one another.


#DEARME 

Dear Ashley Marie,

Make more friends!! Get to know others and stop being so inwardly focused. Don't ever worry about what others will think of you! Just be yourself and you'll make more friends than you can possibly imagine. Ask questions, the deep questions that will help another to pour their heart out to you. Be vulnerable and let others into your heart. The only way to make friends is to establish connections.

Stop living in your confined comfort zone. You say you suck at all sports, well how would you know if you haven't played a whole lot! Get up and go live a little. Take a chance on the things you think you're not good at. You won't ever learn to become good at something  if you make up a preconceived notion. You won't ever know your passions and what you enjoy in life if you don't take a chance and explore what this beautiful world has to offer.

Try out for teams more often and learn to enjoy taking chances. Try out for the dance team, even if you don't think you will make it. Join the track team, even if you don't have any friends that will do it with you, I mean hello, what a perfect opportunity to make more friends. 

Stop dwelling on not getting asked to many of the dances. Your worth does not come from boys and their opinions about you. Your worth does NOT come from the amount of guys that are interested in you and asking you on dates. The way your dating life looks in high school is not determination for how it ends up in college and beyond. Dating should NEVER be a popularity contest or where self worth is stemmed from. Just be you and opportunities will arise at the perfect time. 

Homework and studying has more of a purpose than you can imagine, the lessons you are learning right now aren't just going to help you in the career field, they will carry you through life. Push yourself more to study subjects that don't come easy to you. Stretch your mind and obtain all the knowledge you can possibly acquire. I promise your future self will thank you ten fold for it.

Be courageous! The only reason you are so shy is because you're living in fear. Who cares what others think. Who cares what others say! Who cares if they don't like you, and if they don't agree with you. Heavenly Father is for you, so who could ever be against you?

You have SO MUCH power to make a difference that it is unbelievable. Service is your forte', compliments are second nature to you, and letter writing is your greatest strength. Don't ever believe that voice inside that says "You can't make a difference by smiling". Turn off the voices that are telling you that you don't matter or that you aren't even noticed. Just a "Hey" in the hallway has so much power to change a life. You have more compassion than most people your age - USE it! Give everything you have to offer because this is your calling, this is your strength. Notice others more and STOP waiting on others to notice you!

Choose a mentor, someone a grade or two older than you and ask them questions about life, school, boy advice, and friendship. You need more people in your life to open up to and also to help. Be open and forward in finding those who can teach you and build you up on this long journey. You're going to make it, I promise!

When your parents ask you how school was, smile and kneel down right there to thank Heavenly Father for providing you with a mom and a dad who care about you. Don't roll your eyes or get annoyed that they care, be overwhelmingly thankful that you have such a good home to return to every single night.

I think the biggest piece of advice I could tell you is to BE FEARLESS and BE PATIENT! Heavenly Father is in control, boy, oh, boy I wish every second of every day you could see just how important you are to Him and how he is guiding your life. He is in every single detail of your life. He loves you and He will never let you fail. 

I want to be a journalist when I grow up...

People always ask me why I want to be a journalist. I pause and think for a moment, usually with a "uhh..." Or "I don't know". Then I'll say because I love writing stories and then I'll quickly change the question because I didn't have an answer I believed would actually satisfy the individual probing. 

Well today something clicked. I believe we ALWAYS have the answers inside of us. How far they may be buried is a completely different story but today the answer to this particular question floated to my conscious level and I felt a burning in my heart that had been missing for awhile. 

Journalism ignites this passion within me because, well...I hate talking about myself. If you know me in the slightest, you know if you ask me a question, I'll answer it very quickly and maybe not even fully, then I'll very quickly turn the question or multiple questions right back to you. I love learning other people stories and I feel we as humans have so much to learn from the stories and experiences of others. They happen to us to create who we are after all. Today I realized how inspired and enlightened I feel after I  learn about an individual's past and the journey they have been on to get where they are right now in this moment. I realized the strength and skill I have at asking the deep questions that can bring emotions to the surface level which can help that individual learn more about who they are as a person and the strength and endurance that lives inside of them.

Now I realize I sound like I describing the job of a therapist, and I've thought about that occupation many times, believe me. But I have just have this passion for learning about individuals and their stories and wanting the world to see who they are after the mountain they have climbed. Journalism (in a positive light) is an opportunity for many, many lives to be touched. 

Robin Roberts story has personally touched my life. If you are unfamiliar with it, go here. Robin's strength and optimism inspires me in multiple ways. When I'm struggling or going through a rough patch, I think of her and how she was able to overcome her weeks and months with no sunlight. I want stories to be told. I want to ask the deep questions and inspire others. I want to change the world through the simple and profound stories. I want the words I write on a page to touch others. 

I only write these words because I had the coolest experience today that made me feel as if I was living me dream, these ah-ha moments just kept rising to my conscious level. Some of the reasons I'm not going to write out at the moment, and to be honest I'm still discovering a few.

If you get anything out of this post, just please trust what you feel to be right for you. After praying about something but still not having the WHY of what you feel you need to do, TRUST it and in the right and perfect timing, it will be the Spirit that reveals the answers to you. But don't give up, keep at what you feel to be right in your heart after speaking to Heavenly Father about it. 

#40Acts of Kindness for Lent

It's very possible that I'm the only one in the world that does this, but you wake up and the first thought that hits your mind is all the wrong in your life even though you have so many incredible, amazing blessings in your life. So you lie in bed, grab your phone, scroll through Facebook and have a pity party dreading to actually start moving. You've never done that? Ha... I knew I was the only one. ;)

A few days ago I was reminded about lent by a friend. I had heard of it over the years, but because it isn't something I typically practice it wasn't on the forefront of my mind and I had to learn about the details and purpose of it again. After I learned about it I kept thinking that I loved the concept, but I couldn't think of anything to give up. As I pondered  deeply, a thought came to me and not all at once either.

Let me tell you why I love the concept of lent. If you don't know what lent is, it's sacrificing something for 40 days leading up to Easter, as resemblance of Christ fasting. To me, it's a way of showing Heavenly Father you love Him so much you would be willing to do anything and everything for Him. It's an opportunity to break a bad habit and replace it with one that will bring you closer to Christ. It's a way to refocus your life even when you feel you have absolutely nothing left to give.

As I pondered and prayed about what I needed to give up and where my life was going, piece by piece my puzzle has started to be laid out for me. Okay, so I only have two pieces ha ha, but that is enough! I'm learning that's how God works, He gives you a piece you act and try to find the next one and as you're searching and willing to act, He will give you another one until you can see the entire picture. Faith and action go hand in hand and you don't consistently keep doing both, He can start to take the pieces away.

So back to that pity party of mine, that's what I'm giving up. I'm sacrificing the selfish thoughts I have in the morning. The second I wake up I have to roll out of bed onto my knees and pray, and in this prayer, I can't really pray for myself either. I am praying for others. I am praying to know who needs me throughout the day. I am praying for my mind to be open to opportunities of service and kindness. I am praying for an open heart and a willing mind to serve those who are put in my path. I want to lose myself completely and these upcoming 40 days are going to be hard but they are going to be life changing if I consistently choose to act on the pieces God has given me thus far. 

So today's the day to begin!!! I woke up before 6 today and said my prayers and I can't wait to see who is put in my path for me to help. But it's so much more than that, it's not about finding projects, it's about finding people to love, to selflessly love and not because I have to, and not because I want to be the one to make the difference. It's about finding people you were truly meant to be an angel for, because God placed them in your path for a purpose. And something tells me this is just the very beginning... I have a very deep feeling it's so much more than the eye can see. This will be a learning process and journey.

Want to join in? Watch this video and then check out the site!

Comforts for the Anxious Latter Day Saint Heart

1. Be Still my Soul hymn lyrics (Hymn # 124)

2. Upon the Top of the Waters

3. Some Lessons of Faith and Fear 

4. 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 

5. Live by Faith and Not by Fear

6. What Nephi Teaches about Overcoming Discouragement 

7. Isaiah 41:10 -  Fear thou not: for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. 

8. Courage = Healing + Action + Grace  (amazing references in this talk)

9. Like a Broken Vessel

10. Fear Not, I am with Thee

11. Peace I Give Unto You By: Robert D. Hales

I have anxiety. It's something I don't talk about too often but I think I better start because if we don't talk about, how are we going to raise awareness?

The first time I remember having a panic attack was when I was eight years old. My parents required me to take swimming lessons. I hated swimming lessons, my teacher would force me to go into the deep end of the pool and I literally pictured everything that could possibly go wrong. I thought I was going to drown to death and die. (The way I look at it, those with anxiety have a strength - it's called a wild imagination haha!) One summer morning my parents came into my room bright and early to help me get ready for swimming lessons. I felt sick to my stomach, this was the day we were required to jump off the diving board, I had never done that before and I dreaded the journey that lay in front of me this day. Well I went, not by my own will or consent. I ended up jumping off and it became one of my favorite activities. It was the fear of the unknown that was set before me that day that made me feel trapped and limited my ability to think clearly.

To this day I still experience anxiety. As my testimony has really become strengthened and anchored in my Savior Jesus Christ, it has affected me less and occurred much less frequently. I remember a time where my testimony was growing at a rapid pace and I thought my anxiety had been cured forever. As much as I believe in the atonement and that Christ can take away our pain, my anxiety comes back from time to time. I hate it, if you have ever experienced anxiety before, you know how miserable it is. Words can't explain how trapped and hopeless you feel. It's as if you have no control over the situation and you have no control over your faith no matter how much faith you desire to have.

I've learned that anxiety usually enters my life for a reason.

Heavenly Father needed me to walk on my own to test my strength and see if I would seek Him in my times of trial and grief. Sometimes it will appear as if I have been forgotten and Heavenly Father's peace has left me, but it's an opportunity for me to turn my heart to my Savior Jesus Christ and to choose to love Heavenly Father with my own free will. He wants me to prove that I will be faithful no matter what I face. Anxiety is actually a gift if you think about it, it's an opportunity to show your love, faith, and devotion to Heavenly Father. Will you still choose Him no matter what pain you go through. 

While I don't like to refer to anxiety as a weakness because often it is a chemical imbalance in the brain you have no control over, I refer to it as a weakness for the fact that I can't ever get through it on my own. When I'm left in the dark and feeling alone it reminds me of 

Ether 12:27

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all me that humble themselves before me:for if they humble themselves before me; and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them."

It's a weakness that has me calling upon Heavenly Father. I need my Savior Jesus Christ to bring peace and comfort to my heart. I can't do it alone. He knows my weaknesses and He wants me to remember that I am absolutely nothing without Him. (Alma 26:12) My faith comes from Him. I have to remember that I don't know all of His plans, but the only thing He asked me to do is to trust Him. Heavenly Father loves each of us so very much, He doesn't want us to be in pain forever but He allows us to experience pain to grow and change and become like Him. He has so many great plans for you personally and sometimes pain is the only way to get from point A to point B.

What if we were more open in talking about anxiety and we helped society to not think of it as a burden and limitation, but as a blessing and an opportunity?

Be Bold in what you believe

I've been thinking a lot about the word bold lately. A dear friend whom I admire as much brought to my attention my lack of boldness in certain areas of my life. I then found myself reflecting on the word bold.

At first I was hesitant in the need to change. I'm not a bold person because I live with this constant fear that I'm going to offend someone. But as I've thought about it more, being bold is standing with declaration of truth and righteousness! It's being shameless about your beliefs and making statements that allows everyone to know where you stand and what you believe in. It's someone else's choice to choose to be offended by the declarations you make and you can't control everything. If you were never bold, you would go along with everything and probably have close to zero standards. That does not sound like a Christ-like life to me.

When I think of the word BOLD: I think of brave, courageous, shameless, forward, without hesitation, and making your point so clear that there is no room for others to question what you meant.

Even in the scriptures, Jude exhorts the Saints to defend their faith by “earnestly contend[ing] for the faith” (Jude 1:3)

I think being bold could have saved me from a few situations throughout my life. When you are bold, you are choosing to care more about what Heavenly Father thinks of you and less about the world's opinions. I used to believe confidence came AFTER you had done all that you could to fit in; you know the latest styles, coloring your hair, perfect makeup, flat abs, a nice tan, and choosing to never disagree with others opinions you didn't support. Goodness, I couldn't have been more off! I know without a doubt, confidence comes from the Holy Ghost. How do I know this? Because I have lived it. 

I declare that you DO NOT AND SHOULD NOT strive to fit in with the world to find self-esteem, you will never find enough of it! You'll constantly be looking to the world again and again for fame, attention, glory, and approval and slowly but surely little pieces of who you are will be chiseled away. 

Coming to know who you are and having confidence in 

that has to start by coming to know Jesus Christ. 

The world doesn't teach you that. The world tells you to do whatever you want because that's staying true to who you are. But what if you are so lost and confused from the chaos of the world that what you think you want is so far away from WHO you are deep down in your inner core?

Here's my full-heart pledged belief; I believe that you were a spirit in Heaven, Heavenly Father designed the perfect body for YOUR spirit. Your individual worth and unique gifts and talents began up in heaven. These divine qualities that are yours have always been apart of WHO YOU ARE! Your spirit lives inside of you and knows exactly who you are and what you believe in. That is never changing. After you observe societal behaviors and you see in media that morals don't really matter because you only live once, your soul and body start to forget what your spirit already knows about who you are. Society starts creating this formality of who you are and who you should be and pretty soon you have forgotten your purpose. So you start searching the world for things that you think will bring you happiness and confidence only to find that you have moved further than you ever thought was possible from the REAL and TRUE you! Please tell me then how you are supposed to be confident when somehow society has blinded you of what you believed in and your individual worth all along.

If I could tell girls anything, or really anyone for that matter - I would stand upon the peak of Mount Everest and shout at the top of my lungs that CONFIDENCE AND FINDING WHO YOU ARE COMES FROM FINDING OUT WHO CHRIST IS FIRST!

That is my loud and bold declaration to the world. I have never been so confident about anything in my entire life. My pageant years, I was trying to be who I thought the judges wanted me to be. I thought if I had their approval and I wore a crown on my head, then I would be confident. It wasn't until I searched with my whole heart, might, mind, and strength to learn who Christ was and to follow his example that I found myself and realized how confident and happy I was in everyday life. Sure, I still like to get ready to appear that I take good care of myself, but I suddenly found I wasn't obsessing over breakouts or bad hair days. I was able to feel confident about the talents and hobbies I do have and not worry so much about the strengths that seemed to be lacking. When I truly learned who Christ was and the peace he offered flowed into my heart in a way I had never experienced before, it was only then that I felt what I lacked, didn't matter. It's through his grace that he makes up the difference and I feel this confidence that is unshakable and reminds me exactly of what my spirit has always known even before this life. 

BE BOLD! Be bold in what you believe and be bold in staying true to the individual worth your spirit was designed upon.

Don't try to fit into the world because I can promise you with my whole heart you will never be happy and you will always feel like you're not staying as true to yourself as you could be. This is my testimony I leave with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

P.S. I REALLY like this post. Because I desire to know Christ more than I have ever known him before, I didn't watch the super bowl last night. It's important for me to guard myself from all things that could take away the spirit. We all have different beliefs but this is my bold statement that I don't support sports on Sunday's. I'm not better than you because of it and I have absolutely NO right to judge you if you have different views or beliefs. I just wanted to declare boldly what I believe.